‘Game Of Thrones’: Winter Is Here And The End Is Near [The Dragon & The Wolf]

Dragonstone
Back in the war room on Dragonstone (seriously, how long does it take to get anywhere in this world, is it just Dragon Air everywhere with Dany?) Daenerys and her team debate the merits of traveling to Winterfell. By boat? By air? How will it look to the Northerners? Jon decides firmly on traveling together for appearances’ sake (and also because he and Dany really shared an intimate interactions the last time they were on a boat and he’s probably hoping for another one of those).

Later, Jon and Theon share a moment that is truly kind of random and pointless except for Jon to forgive Theon and tell him he’s a Greyjoy and a Stark and that the best parts of Ned do live in Theon. It’s the pep talk Theon needs to go outside, tell Yara’s men they have to save her and then beat the ever-loving piss out of one of them for a show of force. He wins when his opponent knees his crotch and it has no effect on him. Go, Theon—your missing manhood may be your strength after all.

Winterfell
Sansa (Sophie Turner) has Littlefinger (Aiden Gillen) in her ear again, whispering evil words about Arya (Maisie Williams) and her motives, suggesting a very bad game where they imagine the worst case scenario and then work backwards, reverse engineering a reason why, and generally driving a wedge between them. It all seems very dark and bad for the sisters Stark.
Sansa summons her sister to the Great Hall and levies the charges of murder and treason… against Lord Baelish. WTF! Stark Siblings 4 Eva! Sansa plays judge, jury, and leaves the executioner duties to her sister in the trial of The People Vs. Lord Baelish in the Murder and Attempted Murder of Lysa Arryn and John Arryn. Thanks to the evidence brought forth by Three-Eyed Raven Bran (Isaac Hempstead-Wright), they are able to bring Littlefinger to justice, which is a swift slash to the throat and a bleed out on the floor. It’s so, so satisfying. Sisters are doin’ it for themselves!

After the trial, Sansa and Arya have a nice moment, remembering their dad, and reminding themselves that “the lone wolf dies while the pack survives.”

Bran reunites with Samwell Tarly (John Bradley-West), who has made it there from the Citadel. He barely introduces himself when Bran’s like, we have to tell Jon who he is, and then JUST SPILLS THE WHOLE R+L=J STORY. Fan theories have been proven: Jon is the product of the union between Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Mormont. Sam even supports this vision with his research about the annulment and marriage between Rhaegar and Lyanna in the Citadel scrolls (no credit to Gilly?!?!?!), which makes Jon the rightful heir to the Iron Throne. His real name is also Aegon Targaryen (isn’t there someone else named Aegon Targaryen? So confusing).
Meanwhile, while Bran is describing this union, warging to the wedding, and talking to Sam, this whole sequence is intercut with Jon going to Dany’s cabin, giving her the “U up?” eyes and then just getting straight to full-on naked sexy time with his new sworn queen. And now he’s probably impregnated his aunt. That incest baby can face off against Jaime and Cersei’s fake news incest baby in Season 8.
Eastwatch
But of course, there are far, far worse problems than Cersei, the Golden Company, etc. There are White Walkers, who now have a dragon. And are they ever feeling bold with their new toy. The Night King pops up at Eastwatch with zombie Viserion and lays waste to the wall, lasering it in half and watching it fall. Tormund (Kristofer Hivju) and Beric Dondarrion (Richard Dormer) watch this destruction in horror, but I refuse to believe they’re dead. Because they would have given Tormund a moment, and because someone has to alert Jon and Dany about zombie Viserion.

Climate change is real, White Walkers are real. Time to get serious.

Well guys, that’s a wrap on this season. Only a year before we get more new Thrones. See ya back here same time same place in a year? Leave comments below!