While this writer hasn’t had a chance to see “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” (though a Playlist review is forthcoming). Word is baaaad. Currently the film sits at a low-low 34% on Rotten Tomatoes and we were hit with at least three emails this morning of crit friends telling us how awful it was. A female critic friend of ours who enjoys the books on a guilty pleasure level tells us it was “retarded” and said, “I don’t know why it’s so hard for them to get these movies right” (maybe Chris Weitz does have a reason to call it quits).
Also, hilariously, there’s a scene in the movie where Bella (Kristen Stewart) goes to see a movie, but is so despondent that Edward (RPattz as MTV loooves to call him) is gone, she can’t go see a romantic comedy, so instead goes to see a movie called, “Face Punch.”
Apparently this is not a joke, taken at face value. There’s even a fake movie poster in the movie with the tagline, “Face punch: let’s do this!” But then again, that’s maybe just a dig at Zack Snyder films? Who knows, but we laughed our asses off at that one and haven’t even seen the film.
Meanwhile, if you’re dumb enough to fall for emails that say “download the New Moon movie for free!” perhaps you’re getting everything you deserve. On the eve of the film’s opening (and just days after would-be-demo tweener Miley Cyrus dissed the franchise), a new “Twilight” computer virus has been making the rounds and ruining various mouthbreathers’ computers.
The biggest mistake this series ever made was not hiring Guillermo del Toro protege Juan Antonio Bayona who directed the very excellent, 2007 film, “The Orphanage,” but in retrospect, we’re glad Bayona didn’t soil his work with the goth-teen franchise (and apparently he didn’t even want the gig; we love him even more). But seriously, when is he making his next film?
Lastly, tween culture moves fast which is why they’ve been cranking out these “Twilight” movies — “Eclipse” hits summer 2010. But will teens, who are obviously fickle and suffer from micro-boredom still care a year from now? “New Moon” is expected to be a huge hit this weekend, but they still have yet to announce a director or start date for “Breaking Dawn” the final installment, and if they do break that fourth film into two parts — milk it; more bang for their buck — and that one hits in… 2012, will “Twilight” be passé?
Also, if someone gets an image of the fake poster to “Face Punch,” plllleeeeeaaaaase send that shit to us. We must see.
I would see the shit out of FACEPUNCH. That's almost as good as Clooney in Syriana seeing BLOOD FIST 4.
Chris Weitz should have committed seppuku after directing/adapting the abortion that was "The Golden Compass." (And that was a GOOD book…) Another one on my "why is he still hired for anything" list.
additional reporting credit.
lol
This Christmas…
Destruction is coming directly to you.
FACE PUNCH!
Rated PG-13 for mild violence.
"But seriously, when is he making his last film?"
Unless English is a second language for the writers on this site, then sentences like that are inexcusable. They crop up all the time too.
Our English in big than you, so learn americun.
forums.facepunchstudios.com
😀
um one problem i have with this article
While this writer hasn't had a chance to see "The Twilight Saga: New Moon"
unless you take the time out yourself to actually go and see the movie, it's pretty damn stupid to sit there bagging it.
Are you really that stupid you have to be one of those 'sheep' people and bag it because everyone else has? seriously? These people that have told you it's crap, and rather than go and see it for youself and make an independant review that's not full of hear say, you listen to a couple of other 'haters' comments and go from there? Another thing if they hated twilight, why did they go and see new moon? are they that hard up for entertainment they would go and watch it just to complain?
as for the virus, that's the only 'informed' statement you've made in this load of PMS you call an article.