What I Really Wanna Do Is Direct: Yo! Shia LaBeouf Raps!

Well, here’s some bad news: super-annoying greaseball Shia LaBeouf has decided to find a new way to foist himself on the defenseless peoples of the world. Yes, our worst fears are true: not content to merely sully the world of film with his stupid “acting,” LaBeouf has stepped behind the camera to direct a video for his friend, the rapper Cage.

MTV News reports that the *ahem* actor will be helming the video for “I Never Knew You” by the New York-based rapper. Apparently, the duo have been planning this for some time. The onetime “Even Stevens” star followed Cage on his Hell’s Winter tour and accumulated a bunch of footage with the intent of using it to pitch a biopic. LaBeouf’s career somehow blew up before this ever came to fruition, but they’re back on track now with SL working on this video. The only upside to this is that we won’t have to see his oily smugness in the video…we hope.

Actually, we’re not sure which part of this story is the most confusing: the part where LeBeouf unironically refers to himself as an “artist” and not “very lucky” or the part where the writer refers to Michael Bay as “one of the greats” of directing. Seriously? Michael Bay? That’s like calling Cthulu a great humanitarian. We can only imagine that Michael Bay teaching Shia LaBeouf how to direct–a case of the galactically stupid leading the hopelessly inept–will produce what a great American philosopher once referred to as “the feces produced when shame eats stupidity.”