Watch: New ‘Immortals’ Loudly Tries To Convince You To See The Movie

Man, we hope that along with the 3D glasses we’re getting some earplugs, because if the finished product is anything like the new trailer for “Immortals,” this thing is gonna be loud.

This latest spot for the Tarsem directed movie about bronzed men who are able to throw and shoot things with great accuracy over long distances, begins with the rare moment of a film title appearing before the studio logo, followed by a fairly tepid and thankfully brief voice-over that explains to us about the war in the heavens or whatever. From there, it’s non-stop speed-ramping, shouting, rock music and guys who… leave… dramatic… pauses… between… every… word… of… dialogue. And oh hey! There’s Stephen Dorff! Anyway, our man in the U.K. caught some advance footage from the film at Empire Big Screen over the weekend and quite candidly called it “kind of a train wreck” describing it as “cartoonishly gory” and with performances that are “awful; lifeless and airless.” And all of that seems to be confirmed here, to be honest.

Starring Henry Cavill, Freida Pinto, Mickey Rourke, Kellan Lutz, Luke Evans, John Hurt and Isabel Lucas, the film follows the story of warrior prince Theseus (Cavill) as he leads men and gods alike into battle against titans in order to save mankind. It opens on November 11th, but you might get the same effect just staying at home and playing “God Of War.” Trailer below.