Want To Know Everything Cut Out Of Edward Norton’s Version Of ‘The Incredible Hulk’?

So Edward Norton cried a river because he nuanced characterization of “The Incredible Hulk” wasn’t onscreen, but the DVD is gonna contain 70 minutes of extra footage, right? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Well, want to know everything included in Norton’s version of the Hulk? I09 says it’s easy: just read the movie’s tie-in novel by longtime Hulk comic writer Peter David (yeah, right. That’s why you guys and 4th Letter, the nerds that actually read it, exist).

4the Letter says a lot got cut, but a ton of these deleted scenes has the potential to be really bad (like “Daredevil” movie bad, ooof). The film opens in Antarctica and they describe the suicide scene that’s been now widely mentioned. It sounds “Daredevil” bad.

“Banner walks through the blizzard, pulls out a pistol and tries to off himself. His arm won’t let him and he unwillingly pulls the gun away from his head and fires it empty. Then he falls to the ground, hoping to die from the cold, but transforms into the Hulk instead. As the Hulk, he smashes the ground and breaks it into icebergs.”

His arm won’t let him? Jesus H, that’s brutally stupid. They write that this is where Captain America was likely supposed to show up. [ed. but uh since a name brand actor for Capn’ hasn’t been cast yet, this would be kind of impossible, no?

“This was probably going to be where the hyped Captain America appearance was going to take place. I suppose that without [The Sub-Mariner] in the cards, they would just have Hulk be the one to smash up the arctic and release his frozen body into the water. From what I understand, a version of this scene is in the videogame.”

[Note the above quote graph is insider nerd speak. As his origin goes, the underwater Vulcan-like character the Sub-Mariner was the one who originally found the frozen body of Cpt. America. They’re positing that the Hulk would have served this role had this scene come to pass – note all of it is highly speculative. Once this ‘Hulk’ video game comes, one of you dorks will check. If you’re a girl, please let your eyes glaze over this entire part.]

Then 4th letter writes and pretty much looses all credibility from here til the end of their existence onlilne:

“Whoever decided to cut this scene is a total pussy.”

A scene where Ed Norton’s arm won’t let him shoot himself?? The person that cut this potential monstrosity (no pun intended) is a pussy? Ok, guys, whatever. If this isn’t your idea of “‘Daredevil’ bad,” we shudder to think what is.

Other tidbits.
– Stan Lee’s cameo wasn’t meant to be his cameo. Originally, it was meant to be played by a black kid named Jimmy that would come into play later. But then the unctously and faux-humble Stan Lee inserted his mugging face into the plot, no doubt (god, enough already, it’s not fucking cute!).
– In the emotional backstory dept: Betty (Liv Tyler) and the guy who plays Doc Samson are in bed together in one scene and Betty tries to hide her tears. Samson leaves the room to talk to Bruce and this is where the the “I’ve got problems/go see a shrink” bit from the trailers comes from.
– The rest of the stuff is actually, tedious, stupid and un-noteworthy, but you can read the rest of it here. There is an incredibly embarrasing line about “clobbering time,” that comic fans the world round should thank baby jesus that it’s not in the film.

Final verdict? Maybe Ed Norton can’t write for shit!