Monday, December 30, 2024

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Toga! Toga! Toga! A ‘Clash Of The Titans’ Is Coming!

Dude, it’s the Kraken! Strap on your sandals your toga, a shield and sword of some kind and chestwax and body oil, a bunch of hunky Greek Mythology movies are coming your way. And it’s a race between studios to get their first! Even better as we all know rush-jobs make for great quality.

First up Warner Bros. has tapped “The Incredible Hulk” director Louis Leterrier to direct a remake of the 1981, partly stop-motion animation classic, “Clash Of The Titans,” from a script penned by the great Lawrence Kasdan (who has wasted his talents for years on sci-fi) [ed. So much for ‘Hulk 2’ with Leterrier at the helm anytime soon].

Let’s take a moment of silence to remember the awesomeness that was Laurence Oliver cast as Zeus in the original ‘Clash,’ how funny is that? (Best IMDB comment: “Harry Hamlin is wooden. Judy Bowker is forgettable, and Laurence Olivier hams it up shamelessly…and yet…IT ALL WORKS!”)

Even better and possibly, even more suited to the idea of oily men, prancing around half-naked with eyeliner on is Relativity Media’s shot at this genre. Titled “War of Gods,” Relativity’s film will be directed by Tarsem Singh (or just Tarsem, thank you), the fanciful illusionist/imagineer behind the recent ridiculous fantasy “The Fall.”

Both films are said to utilize the green-screen techniques that helped the beefcakey “300” be so successful. Make no bones about it, these films are being fast-tracked because of the unexpected smash success of “300” (teenage boys and adult nerds evidently being completely oblivious to homoerotic overtones).

Let’s hope for Hollywood’s sake and all the money they dump into these things that they’re more “Lord Of The Rings” and less “Troy” and “Alexander.” Let’s just ‘Clash’ has some sort of Bubo sidekick. That little guy was so cute! They’ll prolly give Hamlin some cameo too, huh?

Check out some of the hi-tech special effects, from the original.

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