The force feels especially strong this week, as the brand new chapter of the ‘Star Wars‘ saga has at long last seen its world premiere in L.A. last night. The general consensus is that it’s the ‘Star Wars’ film fans have been waiting for the past decade, while this particular endorsement says it all. The J.J. Abrams-directed ‘The Force Awakens’ is of course the first in the new phase of planned films and spin-offs aiming to continue the expansion of George Lucas’ monolithic space opera, a.k.a. the most detailed mythology in cinema history. This Friday, the film begins to open wide on its way to box-office domination. We’ll get a new opening crawl, we’ll get to see Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, and Mark Hamill reprise three eternally iconic roles, and we’ll get to see just how far and wide Darth Vader’s shadow has reached. We’ll also (hopefully) get to see a bunch of weirdos, creatures and underdogs, the odds and sods fringe characters woven into the galaxy-building fabric and who, for better or for worse (sometimes, much worse), make an indelible impression.
Ranked in reverse order, from worst to best, these 35 carefully selected minor characters —some with only a single line, others with no lines at all— make an appearance in one or more of the six George Lucas supervised films —the original trio from 1977 through 1983 and the three prequels from 1999 through 2005. The article takes for granted that anyone over the age of six has seen all six films, and also that everyone agrees that original Episodes IV, V, and VI far outweigh the weak prequel Episodes I, II, and III. As such, you’ll probably notice that most of the 35 characters have been taken from the original trilogy in a conscious effort to honor the purity of the originals. Though it also feels natural, as a lot of the characters from the prequels are downright forgettable.
A total of 21 major characters were not eligible for this list, from Darth Vader through Count Dooku to the main Ewok Wickett, so keep that in mind when you prepare to complain about who is missing. There won’t be any of those “who’s the best? Vader or Solo?” dilemmas here. As we welcome back Han, Leia, and all the other familiar faces, here’s hoping Abrams gives us a new generation of minor characters to go along with the new generation of Alliance fighters and Sith lords led by Daisy Ridley and John Boyega.
READ MORE: New Infographic Lays Out Canonical ‘Star Wars’ Timeline With Films, TV And Books
In a galaxy far, far away, there lived a bunch of oddballs. Here are the 35 most memorable oddballs…
35. Nute Gunray and Rune Haako
As Seen In: ‘Episode I: The Phantom Menace,‘ ‘Episode II: Attack of the Clones,’ ‘Episode III: Revenge of the Sith‘
Who Are They? Two Neimoidian viceroys at the heart of those enthralling trade wars that dictated the course of events in the first prequel. It hurts, but we know you remember. As two mentally challenged peas in a pod, their collective enlightened moment came with Haako’s only line in Episode I: “We should not have made this bargain.” You think? But in spite of what Nute’s Wookiepedia profile pic would have you believe, they’re total softies.
Defining Characteristics: High-level incompetence and zero intuition. Their iffy character designs and godawful English accents are also a great inidcation for everything that’s so cartoonishly off about the prequels.
34. Jek Porkins
As Seen In: ‘Episode IV: A New Hope‘
Who Is He? Only the greatest X-Wing pilot ever! No, wait, he’s probably the worst X-wing pilot ever, but anyone who has the heart to fight on the good side of the Force during the climactic Battle of Yavin should still get some credit. Porkins’ 5 seconds of fame is defined by an exchange with Biggs Darklighter, during which his craft malfunctions and he refuses to eject, promptly dying mid-sentence (“No, I’m allri-” BOOM.) He’s become something of a hero thanks to the films becoming a religion, so of course there’s a fan-made short film which turns Porkins into a hero who destroys the Death Star all by himself.
Defining Characteristic: A stubbornness to face reality, no matter how grim.
READ MORE: Watch: Full ’60 Minutes’ Report About ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ With J.J. Abrams
33. Garindan aka “Long-Snoot”
As Seen In: ‘Episode IV: A New Hope’
Who Is He? Officially known as Garindan (though I prefer his nickname “Long-Snoot”), he’s the Kubaz that ratted out Han, Luke, and the rest of them to the Stormtroopers right before they were about to board the Millennium Falcon for the first time. Though it’s never explicitly mentioned, chances are huge that he’s also the one who told the ‘troopers where to find Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru’s house. Physically, he looks like Gonzo from The Muppets became a Sith Lord, and fun little fact: Sadie Eden portrays him, but John Wayne of all people provides the voice! Heavily processed, you could never tell in a million years, but still!
Defining Characteristic: If he was spying on any of the bad guys, I’d have something nicer to say, but no, he’s a jerk. Great Halloween costume, tho.
32. Watto
As Seen In: ‘Episode I: The Phantom Menace,’ ‘Episode II: Attack of the Clones’
Who Is He? The one of too many vexing aliens from the prequels, and first official guardian of a young and annoying Anakin Skywalker and his poor mom, Shmi. A Toydarian by birth, Watto is recognizable for the way he flutters around with his wings and talks in a terribly pronounced accent. He loses Anakin by not being able to resist Qui-Gon Jin’s bet (oh yeah, Watto isn’t just a human trafficker and junk trader, but a degenerate gambler as well) and then goes on to sell Shmi over to Cliegg Lars in ‘Episode II.’ Probably the only two decent things he’s ever done in his life.
Defining Characteristics: Remarkably immune to Jedi mind tricks, but not money.
31. Max Rebo
As Seen In: ‘Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi‘
Who Is He? The first of a number from Jabba the Hut’s posse of scalawags on this list, Max Rebo is the bouncy blue elephant (a.k.a Ortolan) who leads the notorious Max Rebo Band. You know, the spunky jizz-wailers (more on this genre a little later) that provide the night’s musical entertainment as Jabba toys with Oola, Leia, Han, and eats his revolting dinners. Max Rebo, a keyboardist by trade, almost gets upstaged by his lead singer – gangly-legged Sy Snootles – but his bright blue appearance and overall enthusiasm bring him over the edge as the brightest member of the band. It’s the Max Rebo Band for a reason dammit!
Defining Characteristics: The way he moves his fingers to the beat when he’s really into it.
