In April of 2008, Variety reported that Dimension Films bought the rights to the 1986 robot comedy “Short Circuit” — which many believe “Wall-E” stole its design from — starring Steve Guttenberg and Fisher Stevens hilariously playing an Indian man, with eyes towards creating a remake (reboot! remiixxxx!). We swear we wrote about this before, but can’t find it now.
Anywhoo, apparently No.5 is indeed still alive and not disassembled. Today, Variety writes that Dimension films has hired “Robot Chicken” writer, Dan Milano to pen the script. Original producer David Foster is back on board as well, who even made a dig at “Wall-E,” insisting they won’t change how Johnny 5 looked. “We think of ‘Wall-E’ as an extended trailer for our film, because it’s the same face,” he snarked.
Oh brother, here we go again. Though, before we begin our predictable rant, Russ from Chud, now /Film made a good point on the remake/reboot front the other day: there’s no real point in complaining about remakes or reboots cause they’re here to stay and bitching ain’t constructive and it’s pointless.
And while we fundamentally agree, we simply cannot remain complacent, OK-with or silent in the face of all this uninspired laziness. We admit, we have a vague soft spot for the ridiculous awfulness/goodness that is “Short Circuit” — it’s a lot funnier now than it was ever meant to be, unintentional guffaws abound — but god, really?
And we can’t shut up about it (sorry, deal), especially since Hollywood is in a bad place right now. Movies aren’t making the trillions they should be and agents are losing their sweet prime-parking spots and second assistants. This is a dire situation. Since nothing seems to be sticking as a megablockbuster, people are scared and going back to what they think are safe bets — existing franchises — that they believe are built-in dollars. Studio and L.A. producers have never been a font of artistry, but this phoning-it-in nonsense is reaching critical mass, and it would be rather awesome, if all these ideas were green lit out of desperation and audiences turned their backs on them biting the unimaginativeness on the ass. Will it happen? Probably not, people are stupid and will eat the pablum in front of them, but dare to dream, no?
Oh and good idea alert: Bring back Steven Guttenberg as an Obi-Wan type character. Man, that would rule, high five. The best we can all hope from this? An El Debarge comeback.
I am truly optimistic. Studios are tapping these dead franchises or brand names in the hopes there's an audience there, but there really is no core "Short Circuit" fanbase. Once these "reboots" start to flop, there HAS to be a movement to original work. I mean, Mandrake? Stretch Armstrong? Short Circuit? No one really wants to see these.
I seriously hope you're right. Cause god, you're absolutely correct. People are dying to see Short Circuit? Stretch Armstrong? WHO ARE THESE PRODUCERS. christ. so awful.