Jesus christ, what the hell happened to Owen Wilson’s career and Wes Anderson, we really hope you’re writing him into your next movie.
Look we know that Wilson has the market cornered on emasculated blonde jagoff with the blonde, bland girlfriend, but give us a fucking break already. “Marley & Me” is ridiculously (but hilariously) called, “The heartwarming and unforgettable story of a family in the making and the wondrously neurotic dog who taught them what really matters in life.”
LOL, are they serious? Oh man, you bet they are.
The cheesy rom-com gets even more seriously dipped in fromage. “They were young and in love, with a perfect little house and not a care in the world. Then they brought home Marley, a wiggly yellow furball of a puppy. Life would never be the same.”
Holy shit, who writes this stuff? Do they have no shame? Why not just call this movie, “Look, Puppies!” We wonder how this will rate on the “Beethoven” scale of dog movies. Wilson is no Charles Grodin.
Everything I’ve seen about this is treacly. I just know that once I’m dragged to see this, I will draw too many parallels to my dog for my own good. (Sorry.)
Also, I’m going to write a 1-page treatment for “Look, Puppies!”. It’ll be like Puppy Bowl without the miniature football stadium. I will be rich. Thanks, Playlist.
Someone will buy it, seriously. Send us a check for $100 bucks and we’ll call it even. You’re welcome.
Only on the condition that you declare it a “wild romp”, “tour de force”, or “rewarding exploration into the world blah blah blah”
For 100 bones, why not…
This and the just as awful looking Bedtime Stories will be going head to head…and like Night at the Museum, will sadly make tons of dough.