M. Night Shyamalan is not well loved by film critics.
The guy’s oh-so-scary films are about as frightening as your grandmother’s gin rummy games (oooh, a twist ending!) and the notorious narcissist has had the audacity to not only cast himself as the “brilliant and misunderstood” writer of the alarmingly vile, “The Lady In The Water,” but he also basically commissioned a shrill and whiny propaganda book about why mean ol’ Disney couldn’t understand the genius of the aforementioned film, called “The Man Who Heard Voices: Or, How M. Night Shyamalan Risked His Career on a Fairy Tale,” (we’re not making that up).
“A work about the making of the new film, the book so echoes its subject’s point of view (he’s the sensitive artiste, misunderstood by his old studio, Disney) that it reads like an act of ventriloquism,” wrote the New York Times (Disney passed on ‘Lady’ much to Night’s shock and wounded pride; Warner Bros. were stupid enough to eventually pick it up)
Then there was the 2004 faux TV film about the making of his other dark, but lame-duck fairy tale, “The Village,” knowingly called “The Buried Secret of M. Night Shyamalan.” It was presented as an unauthorized bio of the “reclusive” director but turned out to be another self-absorbed project disguised as self-aware satire and pre-promotion for the film.
So it’s with much schadenfreude that we’re happy to hear (via Vulture) that early reviews of his new film, “The Happening” by even his biggest fans claim the movie is another patented Shyamalan turd-ball.
Collider has a review from a self-professed Night-fan (dude, we wouldn’t say that aloud). The film is supposed to be a “paranoid thriller about a family on the run from a natural crisis that presents a large-scale threat to humanity.” The review reads:
” ‘The Happening’ is a terrible, terrible movie. I mean, it’s bad on an epic scale. It’s so bad that I can’t possibly tell you how bad it is without understating the point or making it sound like I’m picking on the film. But let me stress: this is not pent-up Shyamalan aggression or a desire to see him fail. This is bad in a jaw-dropping ‘they can’t really be serious, can they?’ kind of way.”
You can’t measure how much the above graph amuses us. GIGANTIC SPOILER (don’t read if you want to see this film): The utterly hilarious and ridiculous part of this film? It’s plants and trees that are responsible for the destruction of earth! “They’ve decided to wipe out humanity and release the neuro-toxin as their natural weapon. What Shyamalan quickly finds, though, is that it’s very, very hard to menacingly cut to an evil-looking tree. That doesn’t stop him from trying, though, and he inexplicably adds wind as a way of livening up the scenes. When the leaves of a tree start to blow, evil’s afoot. It’s really, really hard not to laugh at and there’s even a real groaner of a gag-scene wherein Wahlberg timidly apologizes to a houseplant only to find that it’s made of rubber. Really,” the review writes.
Wow, that’s just amazingly awesome. Maybe we will go see this. Too funny. Btw, “Lady In The Water” reviews are a hilarious joy to behold. We suggest for further amusement you read the Rotten Tomatoes and Meta-Critic responses. Choice selection from the Wall Street Journal: “This cloying piece of claptrap sets a high-water mark for pomposity, condescension, false profundity and true turgidity — no small accomplishment for the man whose last two features were the deadly duo “Signs” and “The Village.”
