Monday, April 7, 2025

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LOUD NOISES! ‘Transformers: The Dark Of The Moon’ Trailer Arrives In All Its Clanging Glory

Oof. We know there is a huge subset of the geek set that are going to go bonkers for this trailer, but it’s probably worth noting: remember how great that “Battle: Los Angeles” trailer looked and how much of a turd burger that turned out to be? Yeah, just keep that in mind.

Anyway, the big moment has arrived and the full-length razzle dazzle boner jamz trailer for “Transformers: The Dark Of The Moon” has arrived and it looks pretty fucking dumb. The movie seems to be built around some kind of space event that brings on a massive robot war from which the handsome good looks of the leading men will be enlisted to save the day (oh no! Tyrese has lost faith! what shall we ever do?!!?!?). From there cue lots and lots of explosions, CGI, not much dialogue, Shia LaBeouf looking gritty and a lot of rips of the “Inception” soundscape. The best part of this trailer is that we see none of the new cast members like Frances McDormand or Ken Jeong or maybe they were just too embarrassed to make an appearance (oh sorry, the former does, but doesn’t get a word in edgewise). We totally understand.

“Transformers: Bring The Drama, Mama” opens on July 1st. And if you like Linkin Park, the soundtrack hits on June 7th. Synopsis and trailer below (or in HD at Apple).

Shia LaBeouf returns as Sam Witwicky in Transformers: Dark of the Moon. When a mysterious event from Earth’s past erupts into the present day it threatens to bring a war to Earth so big that the Transformers alone will not be able to save us.

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18 COMMENTS

  1. I actually used to have a soft spot for Michael Bay. He at least knew how to blow things up real good. But these Transformers movies are just a waste of time.

  2. @The Playlist. Jack is right, though. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is amazingly gorgeous. This sensual young woman is indescribably beautiful. English perfection doesn’t get much purer than her. I love her. She’s a really sweet girl.

  3. How pissed off would this author be if they found out Terrence Malick is not only great friend\’s with Michael Bay, but he also saw a cut of Tree of Life just under a year ago?

    Keep writing about movies, you\’re more cynical than Scott Rudin.

  4. It\’s pretty crazy how bald-faced they are about the new girl being nothing more than a hottie who fills a plot element (damsel in distress).

    It\’s like we\’re going back to the mediocre old silent movies, with the girl you don\’t care about flailing her arms around and the title card comes up with \”Help me!\” on it.

  5. I gotta say, it looks just as stupid as the second one, which was as stupid as the first one.

    However, no movies can touch these films in terms of pure action spectacle. From a popcorn standpoint this is my most anticipated of the summer, not to mention seeing this in 3D IMAX is going to blow people\’s minds to pieces

  6. I honestly enjoyed (different than like) the first two, but that\’s because they had much more humor in them than I was expecting. This one just looks way heavy handed.

  7. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is amazingly gorgeous. This sensual young woman is indescribably beautiful. English perfection doesn’t get much purer than her. I love her. She’s a really sweet girl.

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