“The big game brings more than just the guys together.” Let’s be clear about this: In the history of television, there has never been one Super Bowl commercial ever made for women. OK, maybe some here and there, but generally, Super Bowl TV spots are made for the men that consume the game and therefore tend to be, well, massively sexist. These ads usually feature women in three-times-too-small bikinis biting into the nastiest burgers this side of Arby’s, or victory celebrations demonstrating DD-Cup women showered with sprays of champagne, beer or who knows what.
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With Kristen Stewart hosting “Saturday Night Live” this weekend, she was clearly up for anything, including commenting on her sexuality. In a skit sending up “feed-me-babe” bro ads with men too absorbed in the game and demanding food, SNL created a digital short about Totinos, a fake company that makes frozen pizza and hot pockets. Starring Vanessa Bayer as a subservient housewife alongside an ungrateful husband and totally indifferent male football-fanatic guests showcasing the misogyny and sexism usually featured in Super Bowl spots, the skit takes a turn for the Sapphic when Kristen Stewart shows up. Instead of playing the indentured servitude role, Bayer breaks free and indulges herself in some lesbian lady love. It’s amusing and provides a sharp ridicule and even censure not only of Super Bowl TV culture, but just broisms in general. SNL is usually at its finest with their digital shorts. and this one is no exception.
Below, Kristen Stewart’s opening monologue where she puts Trump on blast and the rest of the skits she was part of on last night’s show (the Melissa McCarthy/Sean Spicer skit in which she appears briefly is here). Enjoy.
Except Totinos isn’t actually fake. They do exist and they make…wait for it, frozen pizzas and pizza pockets.
So apparently Ed is some bourgeois poverty tourist, working for a lowly film blog in his free time whilst suckling on some trust fund? The common man knows Totinos. The common man eats Totinos. Totinos!