The world is against Johnny Depp. At least, that’s what the actor thinks.
In an incredible profile in Rolling Stone, one of the world’s most famous people lays everything on the line to open up about his life, his family, and most importantly, how everyone around him has been stealing money. You see, Johnny Depp is broke, and the profile goes to great lengths to fully explain his financial hardships, but ultimately, it shows Depp in the most honest way possible. And boy, the actor sounds like he’s seen better days.
Honestly, if you want to read about the ins and outs of his financial situation, definitely read the entire piece. It’s enlightening. However, we wanted to take some time to go over some of the “highlights” (depending on if you believe a man seemingly broke and always high has any).
One of the most obvious aspects of the article is just how funny Johnny Depp thinks he is. To prove how hilarious the actor says he is, he goes back to a scene in the “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise, where his iconic character Jack Sparrow is washed up on shore and appears to mumble incoherently. According to Depp, he was actually saying something.
“I say ‘Dirty Sanchez,’ ” says Depp. “Before the DVD, they dropped it out.”
If you don’t know what the actor is referring to, just take our word for it, it’s a lewd sex act that you definitely don’t want to Google.
When the topic of Harvey Weinstein came up, Depp was definitely not pulling punches. “He was a bully,” says Depp. “Have you seen his wife? It’s not a wide range. It’s not like he went, ‘I must go to the Poconos to find some hairy-backed bitch.’” However, when he remembers a time when Weinstein was with his daughter, Depp said, “The image that took my breath away was Harvey Weinstein, a goliath ‘Shrek’ thing, bending down to put on his daughter’s raincoat.”
Regarding his financial situation, the actor makes an allusion to another popular film franchise, “The Matrix.” Though, it appears he knows nothing about it. “I’m just a small part of this,” he says. “It’s the fucking ‘Matrix.’ I didn’t see the movie, and I didn’t understand the script, but here’s what it is.”
But when he’s asked about his potential problem with spending, Depp wears his over-spending like a badge of honor. “It’s insulting to say that I spent $30,000 on wine,” says Depp. “Because it was far more.”
“By the way, it was not $3 million to shoot Hunter into the fucking sky. It was $5 million,” he continued. This is in reference to the money spent to have a cannon shoot his friend, Hunter S. Thompson’s ashes into the sky.
Oh yeah, and if Donald Trump is looking for ideas on how to fix the problem of terrorism, Depp has a solution. “You get a bunch of fucking planes, big fucking planes that spray shit, and you drop LSD 25,” he says. “You saturate the fucking place. Every single thing will walk out of their cave smiling, happy.” Depp 2020, amirite?
But before you think to yourself that there’s no movie talk going on with this famous actor, never fear! Rolling Stone details a project that Depp wants to direct himself. “It’s called ‘Happier Days,’” Depp says. The article details the plot a bit more, saying, “It’s about a man who loses his wife, loses everything and then checks into a senior-citizen home even though he’s only in his forties.”
There’s also a version of “Titanic” he’d like to see made, but fears it’ll never get the chance. Depp’s idea involves filming the entire thing in a bathtub. About the prospect of the film ever being made, he sighs and says, “That would be great, but Hollywood never takes risks anymore.”
