Saturday, December 14, 2024

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Isabella Rossellini’s ‘Green Porno’ Insect Sex Shorts Are To Die For

So we got an unexpected treat when we saw Guy Maddin‘s amazing docu-fantasia “My Winnipeg,” at the Tribeca Film Festival this weekend (more on that later) – an unannounced screening of all of Isabella Rossellini’s “Green Porno” shorts about insect sex.

The connection? Rossellini’s co-director is Jody Shapiro, the producer and amazing cinematographer behind, ‘Winnipeg’ and Rossellini starred in Maddin’s arcane winterscape, “The Saddest Music In The World.”

When these shorts were first announced, we sort of shrugged and never bothered to mention them, but after seeing them, oh lord! We couldn’t help, but laugh our asses off at the inappropriate humor of them all. Especially cause their were kids in the audience right next to us and hearing “anooos,” “peeeenis,” and “Vaaahgina” come out of Rossellini’s heavy-accented voice, we couldn’t help, but LOL uncontrollably in our seats. Even regardless, the shorts are extremely dead-pan, educational even and hysterically executed in a jovially crude manner.

Rossellini basically picks around eight different insects and explains how they procreate rather matter of factly. It’s a amusing and informative entomology session. For example, who knew? Bees: When they bump uglies, the male loses their member in doing so (“my penis will break off!”) Spiders sex is kind of a weirded-out run and gun rhaping (“I would dig my [jizz-laden] pedipalp in her epigyne!”) Snails get sadomasochistic pleasure out of stabbing themselves with sharp protrusions while having sex and Earth Worms are hermaphroditic and they have sex with other hermaphrodite worms in the “69 position.”

And did you know when snails scrunch their bodies up in the shell their “anus lies on top of their head”? They’re genius, seriously. You can watch all of the shorts starting yesterday over that Sundance Channel site. This is some of the best pron we’ve seen in ages.

When asked by the NYTimes recently why she was so enamored with bugs she responded by saying, “Mammals are very close to us, but bugs are strange. They’re more mysterious and exotic,” adding that she plays the male species in each clip because, “I am a ham. It makes people laugh so I played [one], when I am not playing a hermaphrodite.”

Oh and lastly, some of the music for these shorts is composed by avante-harpist Zeena Parkins, who has worked with Björk, John Zorn, Jim O’Rourke and other outré artists.

Watch: Sundance’s “Green Porno” Ads

Watch: Sundance’s “Green Porno” Ads

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