It’s probably not a huge surprise to hear that “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” wasn’t very good. It’s hard enough to strike lighting twice, let alone four times, and let’s fact it the third strike (“The Last Crusade”) was pretty far off the mark as well, so what did you expect? (younger revisionists will probably claim Indy 3 is pitch perfect; they would be wrong)
Yes, it would have been nice to have that final trophy on the mantle for Spielberg, Lucas and Harrison Ford, but it’s clear they weren’t really aiming for it and they’ve been pretty candid in interviews that they weren’t trying to reinvent the wheel and just have a bit more fun again and in that regard they succeed (“We came back to do (‘Indy’) because we wanted to have fun,” Lucas said. “It would make [us] a lot of money if [we] weren’t [already] rich. But we’re not doing it for the money.”) Whether audiences will have as much fun as they did making it remain to be seen though.
The film kicks off quickly in Nevada in 1957 behind the backdrop of the cold war, paranoid anti-communism and accusatory McCarthy-ism. Jones and his new sidekick (Ray Winstone) quickly clash with the evil Roosskies, their cartoony accents (Cate Blanchett) and their avaricious need to steal secrets that will assure their future world domination. Blanchett’s evil scientist, brings Jones to Area 51 to help her find some boxed-up government secret which will help enable Russian hegemony (there’s even a quick nod to the ark of the covenant which we see for a brief second).
Escaping his captors, Jones finds himself in the middle of a Nuclear War testing zone and survives thanks to the help of a regular household appliance. But when the mistrustful Feds get a hold of him afterwards, they accuse him of treason and corroborating with the Russians which eventually leads to his excommunication from his teaching gig (total nods to ’50s blacklisting).
We get a few moments of introspection, the toll of age and the bleak reminder that Indiana’s days are getting long in the tooth, but that’s all the character build-up we get. From there Indy meets up with Mutt, a ‘Wild Ones’ type Marlon Brando rebel, who beckons his assistance to save his mom (Karen Allen returning as Marion Ravenwood from ‘Raiders’) and an old professor friend of his Oxley (played by John Hurt). And the adventure kicks off from there and never slows down, getting into those plot details is pointless because of spoilers and just how ridiculous some of it is (the ending is positively preposterous, silly and just dumb). Suffice to say Indiana Jones, his new young side-kick travel to the amazon jungle in search of their friends which leads them to the pursuit of a crystal skull that may or may not have extra-terrestrial implications (if you have a brain and you’ve even glimpsed at images of what the crystal skull looks like you know the answer; let’s just say a certain old script about secret saucers is referenced).
It’s also displacing and odd to see an Indiana Jones movie that starts off with an Elvis song (“Hound Dog”) and shows Harrison Ford in Indy garb standing in seemingly anachronistic and colorful ’50s kitchens; it’s weird to see Dr. Jones in a diner straight out of “Back To the Future” with greasers and preppies fighting it out, but it is what it is and it is faithful to the era (but still feels rather strange).
The big question probably on a lot of people’s minds is, “does it ruin the series the way George Lucas’ Star Wars prequels raped the magic of the Skywalker tales”? and the answer is no, but it doesn’t really elevate the series in quality either.
The big tip off to quality control measures is the inclusion of Shia LaBeouf’s street tough character Mutt; pretty much akin to that moment every television sitcom has when trying desperate to retain audience interest into their sagging show and introducing a new, younger, cuter, funnier kid (see “Growing Pains,” “Diff’rent Strokes” et al.) to breathe new life into a mostly dead horse.
We’re not sure what Spielberg sees in this kid LaBeouf, but he’s practically an acting patron, who apparently adores him.
To be fair, Mutt’s character doesn’t ruin the film – it would have been just as average without him – but it doesn’t help either. Just like Indiana’s graying character himself, an inherent problem is age. These films are fun in your youth, but pretty hard to take seriously when you’re an adult and your suspension of disbelief is constantly being challenged with some of the ridiculous plot points and absurd action (there’s a Tarzan-like scene with monkeys in the movie that’s just way too much and it inspires unintentional hilarity).
There was concern that replacing John Hurt with the n0w-retired Sean Connery would somehow hurt the script and be a rush-job last minute fix, but that’s taking the far-fetched idea much too seriously and like a real movie. Whether it was Indiana’s dad (Connery) playing the slightly crazed tour guide to the Lost Crystal Skulls kingdom or Marion Ravenwood’s father (Hurt) none of it would make any difference (other than the fan nostalgia of seeing Connery and Ford act aside one another again). The plot remains unaffected.
SPOILERs: Highlight to see, fair warning though In fact, Indiana Senior (Connery) has passed away in this installment of the film, as has his colleague Marcus Brody (played by the late Denholm Elliott) in a small plot move that’s supposed to acknowledge age and how things aren’t as easy for Indiana anymore. And yes, Mutt is the lovechild of Ravenwood and Indiana and yes there are aliens in the film, told ya so.
And what about all those rumors and spoilers that leaked onto the Internet about aliens, a science-fiction angle, etc, etc.? Well, let’s just all of it wasn’t that far off the mark. But as Lucas has told the ever-secretive and story-protective Spielberg, the audience isn’t there for the story, they’re their for the spectacle and if that’s all you want well, Indy 4 provides a lot of it.
However, Spielberg likes to pride himself on how the film is a throwback adventure film with long takes and stunts on screen, rather the disorienting Bourne-series-like kinetic, motion-sickness inducing editing, but after the midway mark, ‘Crystal Skulls’ becomes a little relentless and there are none of those quiet moments of reflection that slow the other films down and give them some humanity and heart and soul. In fact, Soulless is the word. Of course you want a thrill ride, which Indy 4 provides and it is a somewhat fun adventure, if an illogical and impossible one (much more than any films), but the essence of what Indiana Jones special is long gone.
In the spirit of the serial adventure series’ that the original story is based upon, it’s fitting that Indy 4 is just another adventure, but again, that’s all it is: another adventure and it does nothing to add to any of the characters. And perhaps it shouldn’t. You’re not really here to see character arcs and growth in the Indianan Jones films, but it just all feels too familiar and a tired formula dusted off for another go round.
‘Indiana Jones 4′ is neither fantastic nor terrible, it’s just not that good and mostly unnecessary, but that’s how it is in Hollywood, guys want to have fun again and you can’t necessarily blame them. You could place the blame on the age, the wrinkles, the implausible plots, the aliens, the sub-par quality of the crystals and the gold, or just plain ol’ George Lucas, but the fault lies with just simply going to the same well too many times. [C]
Wow, you’ve never been more off the mark. Last Crusade was brilliant. It’s no Raiders, but it is a near perfect picture. Crystal Skull is no Raiders either but it is amazingly good in its own right. So creative, different and refreshing. A wonderful addition to the series. (You have to admit, it is at least better than Temple of Doom.)
Dude, look over there! It’s JarJar Binks!