In Theaters: ‘Couples Retreat,’ ‘An Education,’ ‘Bronson’

With only one film out in wide release, it’s a no-man’s land at the box office this weekend. If you don’t live in a city with a decent art-house option, maybe “The Informant” is still playing? Either way, “Couple Retreat” is going to have a hard time knocking “Zombieland,” from the top of the box-office wethinks. And with good reason, the former is fucking terrible and everyone involved should be embarrassed.

In Wide Release: Ralphie from “A Christmas Story,” Peter Billingsley, finds his way to the director’s chair this week with “Couples Retreat.” The film follows four Midwestern couples who travel to a tropical resort to get help for their troubled marriages. The cast is semi-decent with Vince Vaughn, Jon Favreau, Kristen Bell, and Jason Bateman among the struggling happily-ever-afters, but the trailer for this one screams MOR to us. Vaughn and Favreau co-wrote the script with Dana Fox, but its been a long time since their “Swingers” heyday. Despite sending a bunch of them to Bora-Bora for a junket, the critics are ready for an early return with a pitiful 11% fresh rating at Rotten Tomatoes and a 27 out of 100 score at Metacritic. It’s really brutal and features one section that’s just pure advertising for Guitar Hero that arrives in the picture for no reason other than some pay-to-display deal was made. It’s also incredible unfunny. We might bother with a review because we scribbled one down.

In Limited Release: Danish director Lone Scherfig (“Italian For Beginners”) makes her English-language debut this weekend with “An Education.” Based on a screenplay by acclaimed novelist Nick Hornby (“High Fidelity”,) the film stars Carey Mulligan as a 16 year-old Londoner in post-war, pre-Beatles England who meets a mysterious, much older suitor, played by Peter Sarsgaard, who promises to show her a glamorous world beyond her wildest dreams. We caught the movie months ago and thought it was a tremendous piece of work and a near-perfect film. We really like the Oscar chances for this one, especially Mulligan’s performance, so if its playing near you definitely make some time to see it on the big screen. The cast also includes the great Alfred Molina and Emma Thompson and critics approve of the curriculum with a 88% fresh rating on RT and a 84 score from Metacritic.

Opening in New York and L.A. this weekend (though even the publicists thought it was next weekend, ugh) is Nicolas Winding Refn’s gloriously theatrical and demented “Bronson,” starring Tom Hardy as one of the most dangerous and notorious prisoner in the U.K. penal system. Comparisons have been made stylistically to Kenneth Anger and Stanley Kubrick and both of them are on the mark and yet, Winding Refn still creates something that feels wholly unique and wondrously absurd. Calling it this century’s “Clockwork Orange,” is reductive, but still not bad, considering “Bronson,” will eventually have a very small release, but will surely go on to become a cult classic. Rotten Tomatoes gives it a 76% score (not high enough frankly) and Metacritic gives it a 71 score. We’d put those numbers in the high 80s without question. A review hopefully shortly, but one of the better films of the year to be sure. It’s wickedly arch.

Chris Rock’s documentary “Good Hair” hits in limited release this weekend. Jeff Stilton directs the film, which explores the role of hair in African-American culture and identity. Rock is really one of the greatest living stand-ups, even if his films sometimes feel a little neutered. Despite claims that the idea was ripped off, the trailer looks great and we’re really excited to check this one out over the weekend. Rotten Tomatoes is excited too, with a 90% fresh rating; Metacritic’s score is 72.

Michael Sheen takes a break from playing Tony Blair to play another legendary Englishman in “The Damned United.” Sheen plays Bryan Clough in Tom Hopper’s film about Clough’s doomed 44 day tenure as manager of the Leeds United football club. After brilliantly coaching other teams, Clough takes over Leeds from a bitter rival and chaos ensues. We saw the movie in Toronto and found it to be an enjoyable, unpretentious celebration of the sport. The solid cast also includes Jim Broadbent and Colm Meany. ‘United’ has a 91% fresh rating from RT and an 83 score from Metacritic.

Other options in limited release include Amos Gitai’s film “Disengagement,” starring Juliette Binoche. She plays Ana, a Frenchwoman who travels to Israel to search for the daughter she gave up at birth 20 years before. We haven’t heard much in the way of buzz for this one and neither has Rotten Tomatoes, with no reviews in so far; Metacritic appears to not even be aware of the film. Also out, “Peter and Vandy” from director Jay DiPietro in an adaptation of his own stage play. Jess Weixler (“Teeth”) and Jason Ritter star in the film, which shows the progression of a Manhattan couple’s relation from promising beginning to manipulative normality. At the very least, it will have a good soundtrack. Critics are divided with a 58% fresh rating from Rotten Tomatoes and a 41 score from Metacritic.