We see a lot of films outside our wheelhouse out of obligation and simply to be aware of the cultural dialogue happening each week in movies, but more and more we’re starting to think this ideology is a fucking waste of our money, and more importantly, our time.
“Hancock,” was our first mistake and well, “Hellboy II: The Golden Army,” was basically our second of the summer. Don’t get us wrong, it wasn’t terrible by any means, it had one or two surprisingly tender emotional notes, the action was (mostly) respectable, and it was kind of fun, but basically, we kept tuning out and thinking, “Did we leave the stove on?,” and “Is this ever going to end?” “Does this movie have a point?” The film got generally strong reviews, but was mostly messy, nonsensical and woefully unnecessary. It’s not like we even had high expectations, but essentially if we never experienced it at all our lives would be no worse or better off.
To borrow a line from EW’s review, “the plot is really a fancy excuse for[director] Guillermo del Toro to keep forging his close encounters of the squirmy kind,” which is absolutely spot-on. The “story” is just a weak justification to put these large set-pieces and monsters into play, and for Ron Pearlman to spit out a cigar-chomping sarcastic line or two. It’s fine, it’s harmless, it’s not worth hating on, but we kind of want our two hours back. File under mindless semi-entertainment that’s mostly unnecessary. [B-]
Box-Office: It was number one at the box-office this weekend cause people like us were bored and needed something to do. No#1 by default basically though lots of people do seem to love this thing. No accounting for taste. We will say the use of the Eels “Beautiful Freak” and Barry Manilow’s “Can’t Smile Without You,” were cute touches, but yeah, that’s about it.
Listen: Barry Manilow – “Can’t Smile Without You”
Listen: The Eels – “Beautiful Freak”
This might sound like a contradiction, but for such an excellent–and I really mean excellent, the best, in fact–movie news blog, your taste and ability to judge movies are surprisingly lacking. Hellboy II was quite good, in fact, and although there are some fair criticisms to be made of the film, it is anything but “messy.” Could you elaborate on what you mean by that?
I’ve been meaning to respond here for a while, but I haven’t had a sec. My judgement is lacking?? The fact that you even defend Hellboy II is just… god, stop reading, go away please.
Hellboy 2 was very enjoyable. i watched it twice. You must have very poor judgment because i laughed and the actors themselves made it great. Theres even room for a Hellboy 3 which this movie was the setup for in case you didnt understand the purpose of this movie.
im the one you told to go away and stop reading. i completely forgot about this discussion which shows how insignificant this site is for movie reviews or whatever it is you do here. your judgment is definitly lacking if you gave this movie a B- and yet want your money back. that doesnt make sense to me since a B of any kind is above average. i'm sorry an above average movie isnt good enough for you. Pop in some Cabaret and maybe you will feel better.