Monday, March 3, 2025

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‘Fanboys’ Trailer: Please Stop Making Movies About ‘Star Wars’ For The Love Of God!

Geeks are rejoicing as their symbolic raison d’être, “Fanboys” finally has itself a trailer and yup, it’s as bad as you probably expected. In fact, it’s even worse. The film is basically about different variations on the Comic Book Store guy from the Simpsons and a loser-fest voyage to the holy land mecca of all things nerd: George Lucas’ Skywalker Ranch

(One of the nerdlingers is sick has cancer, so they try and steal a print of “Phantom Menace” before the kid dies. Too bad the kid would probably die once he realized Phantom Menace fucking sucked dogshit and his life had therefore been ruined).

And it looks like it was made for about six dollars. And god, all the nerd-level insider-baseball stuff is obnoxious, and retarded. Ain’t It Cool News’ Harry Knowles is actually a character in this thing? (God, you know he’s glowing with tumescent pride from that one)

There’s a reason why this film was delayed for almost two years and almost went straight-to-DVD, and then was delayed again and pushed into 2009 (The Weinstein Company at one pointed hated the final product so much they had even fired director Kyle Newman at one point) . It looks like a big steaming pile of failure. And didn’t Kevin Smith already exhaust every possible “Star Wars” joke known to man? At this point, the series could be destroyed from memory and existence and we’d probably be pleased as punch. Sure, shit like “Robot Chicken” is pretty amusing (and done with 1,000x more cleverness), but even that: give “Star Wars” a fucking rest already, god. Don’t people have any original ideas that aren’t centered around movies that came out more than 20 years ago?

This thing really looks wretched and pathetic and we’re sad to think that people would actually fund crap like this. It might be even worse than an episode of “Family Guy” (shudder).

Sigh…”Fanboys” stars stars Chris Marquette (the aspiring porn director in 2004’s “The Girl Next Door”), Jay Baruchel (“Knocked Up,” “Undeclared”) and Kristen Bell, obviously coming off a strong performance as the lead in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” The movie also boasts appearances by Seth Rogen, Kevin Smith (naturally, rotund overlord of all things ‘SW’), William Shatner, Carrie Fischer, Billy Dee Williams, the guy who played Darth Maul, and a bunch of other dorks from that universe. It’ll come out sometime in 2009, and you can’t get us away from it fast enough.

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8 COMMENTS

  1. Guys, you can hype “Nick and Noras Infite playlist” and diss this. (well you can but uh. uhm!)

    ..
    i forgot my point

    BTW some guy at Aint it cool reviewed an old Lars Von Trier movie, The movie aparently got his nerd rage boiling so hard he went out on a crazy rant on how much he “fucking hated” the “dogme” movement (dogme?). Then he went one and basicly said that he only likes movies with big budgets and lots of explosions.

    I kinda get why you guys hate nerds so much.

  2. I think my point was that Nick and Norah was basicly a romcom for the pitchfork nerds (nerds sleaky enough to choose a special interest thats socially accepted)

  3. Song at the end of the trailer: Spacehog, “In The Meantime” from their debut album, Resident Alien. One of my favorite songs of the nineties.

    That’s not actually Harry Knowles in the film, but the comparatively svelte Ethan Suplee.

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