Frank T.J. Mackey: “I will drop-kick those fuckin’ dogs if they come near me.”
Ok, we just brought up Frank T.J. Mackey, the delightfully amazing douchebag character played by Tom Cruise in Paul Thomas Anderson’s overly-long San Fernando Valley epic, “Magnolia.” Mackey is the Ross Jeffries-like author of a self-help system for men to get women to sleep with them (called “Seduce & Destroy”). “Respect the cock and tame the cunt” is his ridiculous misogynistic motto (he’s like the prototype for Neil Strauss’ “The Game“).
We bring it up because Cruise’s “Tropic Thunder” character, Les Grossman, a vile, hirsute, bald and tumescent Hollywood producer, is probably his best character since Mackey (and yes, it’s not that funny, but it’s certainly amusing and hell, considering Cruise career in recent years, it is a nice surprise).
Anywho, this made us remember some of the deleted scenes from “Magnolia” on the DVD that have been extracted onto YouTube. This one particular scene is hilarious for a few reasons. For one it features Mary Lynn Rajskub from “Mr. Show” (though most people know her from “24”) and for two all the amazing stuff in Mackey’s apartment: a arcade style video game (we believe it’s Defender), a life-size replica of the alien in “Predator” and wall-sized poster of Rush’s Chronicles album. This is genius set-design (plus he’s wearing a Rolling Stones T-shirt with the big fat-ass red lips) Well played, “Magnolia” team. Does anyone recall calling 1-877-TAME-HER back in the day and hearing the Tom Cruise recorded voicemail? We wish we would have recorded that shit, it was balls funny. Meanwhile, how has a real publicity still of Cruise as ‘Thunder’s Grossman not leaked yet? (and we don’t mean that crappy one above) Someone send that to us already.
Watch: “Magnolia” Deleted Scene With Frank T.J. Mackey
Watch: “Seduce & Destroy” Infommercial
