“There is no timeline to figuring this out,” Jane tells her best friend Lucy in Tig Notaro and Stephanie Allynne’s directorial debut feature film “AM I OK?” This is a film for late bloomers of any kind but will resonate particularly with anyone who came into their sexual identity later in life. Screenwriter Lauren Pomerantz (“Me, Myself and I”) took inspiration from her own late in life, coming out and close relationship with her best friend, producer Jessica Elbaum (“Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar,” “Hustlers”). The film features a nuanced, subtle performance from star Dakota Johnson as 30-something Lucy who finally begins to accept her own sexual identity just as Jane (a breakout performance from Sonoya Mizuno (Netflix’s “Maniac”) takes a promotion that will take her back to her hometown of London. Both unexpected changes prove a challenge for these friends since high school and put a strain on their codependent relationship.
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While Lucy and Jane may be avatars for Pomerantz and Elbaum, there are also shades of Notaro and Allynne’s real-life romance in Lucy’s self-realization, as she finds herself drawn to Brittany (a beguilingly earthy Kiersey Clemons), a new masseuse at the spa where she works as a receptionist. The two are married now, but when Allynne first met Notaro, she thought she was straight and had never dated women before. This authenticity in both the origins of the screenplay and personal connection for the co-directors is apparent in the raw and deeply empathetic presentation of these characters.
It’s also apparent in the naturalism of Johnson’s performance. When we first meet Lucy, she’s sitting in a diner booth, practically folded into herself. “You’re not even comfortable in your comfort zone,” Jane observes. Clad in an oversized sweatshirt and a black beanie, Lucy speaks in a soft, almost whispering lilt. Her piercing, emotive gaze is always searching, yet unable to hold eye contact with those around her. As she goes through this journey of self-discovery, her voice becomes clearer and more confident, her eyes connecting with others at last. Watching this grown woman slowly find the courage to come out of her well-manicured shell is wondrous to behold.
Early on, Jane’s buzzy, authoritative energy dominates their dynamic. She thinks she knows Lucy so well she can order for her at their favorite diner. But Lucy’s revelation has Jane questioning what else her bestie might be keeping from her. The two have an inevitable falling out, and as Lucy discovers her inner strength, Jane embraces her own vulnerability. In Mizuno’s hands, Jane is a freight train moving forward at full speed no matter what, her controlling nature clearly hiding deep wounds leftover from her uprooted childhood. Mizuno imbues Jane with a highly calibrated confidence that masks the neglected fragility lurking just below the surface.
Along with the compelling chemistry between these two codependent best friends, equally charged sparks fly between Johnson and Kiersey. The way Notaro and Allynne frame their encounters puts the viewer directly in Lucy’s confused, yet infatuated perspective. She can’t look away from Brittany, but also can’t get out of her own head and enjoy the pleasures of their unspoken connection. Kiersey plays Brittany with an unidentifiable orientation. Is she a straight girl who is just very touchy because of her occupation? Is she really on the queer “spectrum,” or is she just experimenting out of curiosity? Most women who like women have found themselves in a similarly bewildering situation at least once.
All of these adventures in self-actualization are given a breezy sheen by Cristina Dunlap’s gorgeous cinematography, which captures the bright Los Angeles light in all its glory. The city’s culture itself is skewered ever so slightly, with Lucy and Jane partaking in stereotypical Los Angeleno activities like hiking and hot yoga. Molly Gordon (“Shiva Baby”) is hilarious as Jane’s flaky co-worker Kat who does everything for the ‘gram. Notaro herself has a hoot of a cameo as the graying long-haired guru of a mountain top hammock retreat. Savvy locals will, however, notice that although most of the action happens on the West Side, Lucy and Jane’s favorite diner spot is actually the iconic Hollywood Hills adjacent eatery 101 Coffee Shop (famously featured in “Swingers”), now reopened as the Clark Street Diner.
With a wonderfully light score from Craig Wedren (Shudder To Think) and Annie Clark, many of the film’s needle drops come from Lucy’s favorite Spotify playlist entitled All The Feelz. These include queer staples from Arlo Parks, Sleater-Kinney, and Clark’s own St. Vincent musical persona. The final inspired song choice left a big smile on my face, while a melancholic cover of Daniel Johnson’s heartbreaking ‘True Love Will Find You In The End’ by Priscilla Ahn will leave you grabbing for tissues. All the feels indeed.
Although “AM I OK?” follows a well-worn formula, it finds transcendence in Johnson and Mizuno’s authentic, intertwined performances and Pomerantz’s deeply personal, heartwarming screenplay. Ultimately it is more than just another coming out and coming-of-age film. It’s about being unafraid to grow up and grow apart. It’s about the importance of taking the time to find your true self at any age and realizing that this growth will help you be a better lover and a better friend. It’s about realizing that, in the end, the true love we are all searching for might come in many different forms, and the most important thing is that you open yourself up so that it can find you. [A-]
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