Yes, it’s another installment of Bingeworthy Breakdown where we take an informal look at a new TV show. Basically, we take the bullet so you don’t have to and/or recommend that you give it a whirl the next time you need something to binge.
This week, it’s yet another Marvel show, this time on Hulu, the latest streaming service to jump on the comic book TV series ship. ABC has a few Marvel titles, Netflix obviously has the flagship shows and others have been trying to develop titles and get into the mix. Now, Hulu gets in the game with “The Runaways.”
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Another week, another super hero TV show. At least you had some success with “The Punisher” recently, that was unexpected.
Yeah, sigh… that didn’t last long.
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So, what’s up with “The Runaways”?
Well, Marvel seems to really love its narratives about teens in peril, or teens grappling with their powers and this is surprisingly,… somewhat different. At least at first. Set in high school, “The Runaways” centers on a group of former pals. Childhood friends because their parents were all tight, now they’re in high school, estranged from each other having grown apart. They’ve all realized, as they’ve discovered their own identities – clichés like the jock, the pretty girl, the nerd, the outsider, the real misfit — that they’re all very different people and they would have never been friends if it weren’t for the fact that they were connected by their parents. They couldn’t be any more different and that becomes a central, internal conflict of the group which cues a lot of groanworthy sarcasm and quips that feel like they were ripped from the pages of a bad ’90s teen show or something corny from The CW. However, a mystery begins to unfold, and that kicks off the show.
Is that spoilery?
No, it’s part of the set-up, which I’ll get to it in a second.
What’s wrong with it?
Where do I start? Josh Schwartz, the creator of “The O.C.,” has been itching to become part of the superhero world for ages. He actually wrote the first draft of “X-Men: First Class,” which was eventually discarded in favor of what Matthew Vaughn and Jane Goldman brought to the series. His version, from what I’m told and what I remember in the original reports, was that he was creating a teen X-Men movie, not unlike the ‘First Class’ comics where they showed Cyclops, Beast, Jean Grey, Iceman and Angel as teenagers under professor Xavier, before they were proper “X-Men” (though they had the same costumes and what not; they were just immature and inexperienced, perhaps not unlike what you see with the new team in ‘Apocalypse’). Schwartz’s version got kicked to the curb, but he’s found a place to scratch the itch of the intersection between teenagers and superheroes with “The Runaways.” And as you’d expect, it’s a lot of pubescent growing pains, literally and figuratively.
Stephanie Savage is the other showrunner/co-creator and she’s worked with Schwartz extensively, including on their melodramatic The CW‘s series, “Gossip Girl.” So, yeah, it’s of that ilk, tone, feel and quality.
What’s the plot?
It’s a Hardy Boys-esque mystery that unfolds as the teens try to figure out what’s up with their weird parents. It turns out that they’re in some kind of Scientology-esque cult that has led them to… wield powers. More unfolds over time and well, it’s just a bunch of disparate teens that unite in order to fight the conspiratorial criminal organization that is their parents, a group known as The Pride. Here’s a vague spoiler I guess, though I can’t see any self-respecting adult wasting time on this show: they’re sacrificing teenagers to steal their life force to keep their aging leader alive. Why are they trying to keep him alive and what happens if they don’t? You’ll have to tune into the show to find out, but it’s essentially, teens snooping through their parents shit, the parents becoming hip to what’s happening, and the kids uncovering all kinds of crazy things like magical staffs and uhh, dinosaurs and shit. It’s part supernatural, part sci-fi and the kids’ powers don’t enter the proceedings until deeper into the series, for the most part, while some don’t seem to even have any.
Dinosaurs??
Don’t look at me, I just watch this stuff. I can’t imagine who writes this garbage.
So, what’s it really about?
The secrets we keep? The way how we’re fundamentally different from our parents and we don’t want to become them? And I suppose the lies that our parents tell us that often reveal just how human and flawed they are, but I’m really stretching. None of that texture is palpable and I’m straining my wrist writing these sentences. The worst kind of narrative, movie or otherwise, is one that’s all plot and no story. “The Runaways” doesn’t feel like it’s about anything other than these teens trying to uncover the mystery of whatever madness their parents are up to.
How are the characters written?
Oh, boy forget it. They’re all modern Teen Beat-y stars that play everything with moody, emo and and the awful writing doesn’t help as they’re tasked with delivering sarcasm that’s supposed to mask their various vulnerabilities. Moreover, they’re all drawn as misunderstood misfits of one kind of another that don’t fit in, but it’s a tired trope that’s unconvincing. Sure, on paper, adolescents navigating the complications of high school sounds about right, but none of it lands, none of it is remotely executed well.
One of the writers for the show wrote also wrote on “Iron Fist,” which speaks volumes. One of the female characters is actually described as “a riot grrrl and social justice warrior.” Another is super gothy Wiccan, and the cliches go on and on. And then there’s Rhenzy Feliz as Alex Wilder, the ringleader of the group whose sole super power seems to be convincing old friends to hang out again.
A summary verdict?
Look, I’m not going to mince words. It’s forgettable junk. Ok, while I’m groaning and thoroughly disinterested, at least I’m not constantly yelling or laughing at the show like I do with some frustrating television (yes, I need to seek treatment), but it’s the very definition of changing the channel when something doesn’t involve you at all. If I weren’t “reviewing” this show, there’s no way I could have made it through the first episode, I would have turned it off and found something more compelling to watch. Life is too short for mediocre TV.
Is there anything worthwhile? How’s the cast?
Remember the casting rant I went on about when I covered “The Punisher”? It applies here. These are TV actors that are going to stay that way. This is not the cast of “Stranger Things” who are going to go on to bigger and better things.
This is a show of the quality of “The O.C.”; whiny, angst teens that you don’t want to be around. We’ve seen these cliche characters thousands of times, the show has zero insights into adolescence, the plot is banal, the superhero VFX cheap. And I must say, the decent reviews out there for “The Runaways” are maddeningly head-scratching. Are we watching the same show? Sure, it’s not as laughable as “The Inhumans,” but that’s a low bar to judge it by. “The Runways” is utterly disposable and feels like an opportunistic gambit to get into the superhero game rather than tell a meaningful, worthwhile story. “The Runaways” should get lost and stay that way. [D]
“The Runaways” is currently airing on Hulu.
