Point Counter-Point Review: ‘Machete’ Is The Movie ‘The Expendables’ Was Supposed To Be/’Machete’ Doesn’t Quite Cut It

Latinos of America, you finally have your Batman, your James Bond, your Jason Bourne. His name is “Machete,” and in the new film from Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis, he’s not the type that will suffer fools. A mean ex-Federale with scores to settle after betrayal at the hands of his own government, Machete only has revenge to live for.

As befitting the modern action film archetype, Machete isn’t an entirely fleshed-out character. Ornery, single-minded and relentless, he works as a cipher for a seemingly standard revenge plot and a series of continually over-the-top and occasionally ridiculous action sequences. The film overcomes the usual model of this type of picture by casting Danny Trejo, an actor who’s made a career out of having a ravaged face that tells a thousand stories. Every crease and wrinkle in Trejo’s Charles Bronson-like countenance reflects someone who’s been to hell and back and lived to smile about it. Or at least a half smirk.
The “plot,” as it were, is super simplistic and basically functions to have blood shed, but it is a B-movie grindhouse homage after all (curiously without the “Grindhouse” aesthetic of crinkled and decrepit-looking film and fucked-up prints). Looking to make ends meet as a day laborer, Machete is picked up by a mystery man (Jeff Fahey) who offers him a sweetheart deal: $150,000 to assassinate a racist Senator (Robert DeNiro) hellbent on “securing” the Texas borders against immigrants. What Machete doesn’t know is that he’s the rube in an elaborate scheme to get Senator John McLaughlin elected by fingering an illegal in an assassination attempt against the politician’s life. Did you guess that this eventually ties into the murder of his family years ago?

For years now, Robert Rodriguez has stood as a capable action filmmaker who gets by on a basic understanding of the spatial territory in an action sequence, with a bit of added visual wit. It always seems clear he’d rather be shooting either a comedy (a musical?) or a flat, serious action film that, unfortunately, may be beyond his grasp as an actual director. Knowing, and fearing his limitations, has held back previous Rodriguez films, and with a filmography bereft of an actual point of view combined with declining receipts of recent films, he’s fallen into the pack of action auteurs.
“Grindhouse” might have been the tipping point, as he was forced to stand on the same stage with Quentin Tarantino. His weaknesses were exposed, as a slave to the genres that Tarantino enjoyed subverting. He could have embraced the meaninglessness of his previous pictures, all robust, enjoyable entertainments, or he could shed whatever pretensions of craft and just got for broke, utilizing his sense of humor to back an actual story. In “Machete,” he chose the latter, and as a result if feels like something Rodriguez has been building to his entire career. He’s had two shots to make “Once Upon a Time In Mexico” — a sprawling, colorful ensemble piece with political undertones — but this time, he’s done it right.

Superficially, “Machete” is a blast. Diving right into the action, Rodriguez doesn’t waste a moment that can be spent severing villains to pieces, and we get a series of kills from nearly every angle. Trejo is a wonderful lead, adept at a stony stare as well as a well-placed quip — when faced with a cell phone, he hisses, “Machete don’t texxxxxxt.” And in making his Mexican Bond, Rodriguez doesn’t skimp on the cheesecake sex, even if his view of sexuality remains juvenile, particularly in regards to the cheap porno cue that accompanies a lovemaking session.
But “Machete,” not once beholden to craft (Rodriguez casually switches back and forth between the film and footage from the original trailer four years ago as if it were the same footage), is less a movie than a force of nature. It’s true that Rodriguez conceived of “Machete” a while ago, but it’s impossible to not note “Machete” as a product of 2010, as if the filmmaker has been emboldened to step up for a very clear injustice that no filmmaker or producer has had the guts to pursue. “Machete” isn’t a movie, it’s a moment.

As Senator McLaughlin, Robert DeNiro shows a pulse for the first time in years as a right-wing demagogue with designs on an electric fence keeping immigrants out of the country. De Niro seems outsized, using both his natural charisma and fast-talking patter to make this snake clearly loathsome, but if you close your eyes, the dialogue and delivery could easily be heard from the hate-spreading anti-immigration talking heads in the media and politics in 2010. It’s very easy to make these people the bad guys, and while Rodriguez refuses to humanize them (in some cases, you just can’t), a series of amusing scare tactic campaign ads illustrate what little separation there is between life and art.
Lindsay Lohan almost cathartically plays the daughter of McLaughlin’s chief aid (Fahey, deliciously evil). She’s a trust-fund kid with a heavy drug addiction and a porn website that supposedly generates thousands of hits. In love with herself and on a constant drug high, she feuds with her father and is close to her mother, in more ways than one. She eventually finds Christ and becomes a nun with a thirst for justice and a heart for forgiveness. Truthfully, it’s the most empowering role she’s had in years, in that it allows her to take control of her downward spiral of a life narrative that clogs the tabloids every day. She also has sex with Danny Trejo.

Steven Seagal is cast as notorious drug lord Torrez, working as a traitor against his kind to exploit a system. Torrez, like Seagal, used to be one of the “good guys,” an ex-Federale who saw corruption and stood up to take a slice of the pie. Seagal, not someone who easily puts aside his ego, not only plays a villain, but allows his gut to show freely, something a sea of direct-to-DVD films have desperately tried to obscure through extensive body doubles. Seagal long ditched the onscreen action market in favor of the lofty paychecks cheap DVD films granted him, where his salary was often more than half the films’ budgets. He’s returned humbly, embracing his advanced age and declining skills, and in “Machete” he showcases a previously-unseen sense of humor that still lies beyond the surface of a cold-blooded killer.
“Machete” peers at the tensions between both over-privileged whites looking to keep this country “sacred” in a way it never was or will be and the migrant workers who cross the border desperate to feed their friends and family, while also depicting the complications of being a legal Mexican citizen at the border (Jessica Alba’s patrol cop) forced with sending your country mates back home. It’s a lot for any movie to tackle and, in an ideal world, John Sayles, or even Steven Spielberg, is making this movie.

In truth, no one is, so Robert Rodriguez and co-director Ethan Maniquis have to step up to the plate, making a film accurately sympathetic to the cause while aware that the serious criminals are those exploiting the disadvantaged who would cross over. Rodriguez draws this in more subtle terms early, with every single character eating Mexican food, and more clearly near the close, when immigrants mobilize to take down the corrupt border cops and politicians trying to send them to early graves. Rodriguez and Maniquis made a film where the heroes are immigrant day workers staging a race war, led by the biggest, ugliest, meanest, least-marquee-ready Mexican there is. In the end, when offered citizenship, one character refuses, noting his worth as more than just a slip of paper. Like “Machete,” the delivery works, but the message is what resonates. [B+] — Gabe Toro
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It’s no fun throwing a fellow colleague under the bus, nor is it fair to simply have his review run first and then riff off of that, but this is being done for the greater good. “Machete” is a blast (sort-0f), and being generous, it’s pretty fun in its first act, but its political message, while extremely prescient and relevant (no one could have timed this better with the Arizona immigration snafu; let’s remember the film was written over a year ago), is also facile and ultimately what transpires later on in the picture feels like a disservice to what feels like a trenchant, “holy shit” political screed at first.

Look, a pregnant immigrant woman (Rodriguez’s little sister in a cameo) is shot to death at the beginning of the film, by the nutso right-winged border patrol caricature played by Don Johnson. It’s a truly rousing moment where you think, “Jesus, this polemic is about to take no prisoners,” but it turns out to be just shock for shock value (Machete’s wife is beheaded in the opening as well, it’s gruesome, but it’s mostly just cheap B-Movie theatrics, not genuine emotion revenge begetting).
“Machete” is mostly just a comedy with a message, but one that the filmmakers are afraid to take too seriously. Manquis and Rodriguez stir the pot devilishly (and amuse heavily) with mocking scare tactic commercials, but in the end it’s mostly superficial lip service with no substance and therefore devalues any kind of an attempt at message.

Politics aside, “Machete” is also a bit of a mess and one that’s difficult to discern. Is the hacked, sloppy narrative engine and action an intentional creative grindhouse choice, or is it simply because the film was shot, quick and on the cheap? The answer certainly feels like a bit of both. The dialogue is purposely wooden (one hopes), but does that mean its leaden-ness is supposed to feel ironically fun?

There are some highlights and one of them oddly enough is “Predators” director Nimrod Antal in a cameo (that’s actually longer than Lohan’s role) as one of Fahey’s security guard thugs. Maybe someone should give this man an acting agent as his goofy Three Stooges-like routine was exceptionally fresh in a film that felt all too familiar. Robert De Niro also delights, not to mention is a real trooper for the embarrassing moments he has to endure on set. And the rock n’ roll title sequence with the actual Grindhouse looking title cards is massive fun, but overall, “Machete” turns into a slog for acts two and three; a predictable and mostly unnecessary story that doesn’t end at the 70 minute mark when it should. Every other actor in the picture (Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Daryl Sabara) is either just sorely underused, or just reciting meaningless, painfully expository dialogue.

Yes, it’s supposed to be bad. But at what point do you continue to excuse and embrace wholesale cheap filmmaking? This writer likes stupid fun as much as the next person, but the broad swaths “Machete” aims for in its attack are generally too explicit to be considered remotely clever and fun. It’s a lughead picture with a few sharp laughs in an otherwise clutter of a picture — even for a “Grindhouse” movie, and make no mistake, “Planet Terror” was much more enjoyable and up to snuff than this if you think there’s a major bias here (and arguably it’s more fun and successful in its limited aims than the grossly overrated “Death Proof”).
Clearly “Machete” is going to divide audiences and to this writer it’s very obvious that action, B-movie enthusiasts will likely love its WTF moments which are enjoyable and we’ll be the first to admit that there are some ludicrous laughs in the picture worth enjoying. But as a full, 105 minute movie, “Machete” feels half-baked, and even as a cheeky riff and celebration of bad/enjoyable action B-movies, it doesn’t quite cut very deep. [C] –– Kevin Jagernauth