Let’s be honest: we knew this day was coming. Let’s not try and mount some kind of moral outrage about it. When superhero franchises can be totally rebooted five years after the last entry, anything is up for grabs, and any popular film that still isn’t a viable franchise (see: “Die Hard,” where Bruce Willis is still mobile enough for a fifth installment) will have the remake vultures circling. But yes. “Point Break” is heading for a remake.
Almost twenty years to the day since the release of the original, Deadline reports that Alcon Entertainment, the company behind the new “Blade Runner” film that Ridley Scott signed on to last month, has picked up the rights to Kathryn Bigelow‘s 1991 actioner. Twitch reported back in June that writer Kurt Wimmer (“Salt,” “Total Recall“) is penning the new version, and that does indeed seem to be the case; the writer will also serve as a producer on the project, which is currently searching for a director.
The original, of course, involved ludicrously-named FBI agent Johnny Utah (Keanu Reeves) going undercover with a gang of surfers who double as bank-robbers known as “the ex-Presidents,” led by the charismatic Bodhi (Patrick Swayze), and Wimmer’s take will apparently be set in the world of “international extreme sports.” Yay, base jumping! Producer Michael De Luca comments “Point Break’ wasn’t just a film, it was a Zen meditation on testosterone fueled action and manhood in the late 20th century and we hope to create the same for the young 21st!” Did you hear that? Young! Miley Cyrus in Lori Petty’s role!
It’s not like “Point Break” is some untouchable artifact. It’s Kathryn Bigelow’s third or fourth best film (depending on your tolerance for “Strange Days” and/or “Blue Steel“), a visceral, fairly dumb actioner elevated by the director’s abilities, and by how far it pushes its bromance. But from the looks of Wimmer’s unimaginative-seeming “Total Recall” remake, we wouldn’t expect anything inspired to emerge here.
I hope the remake will include Julie Michaels’ character, ‘Freight Train’, the strong, sexy, gorgeous and empowered fully naked young woman who beats up Keanu Reeves during the raid scene in the original. She is an inspiration to all of us women. Man! I feel like a woman!
After the FBI agents storm the house while she is in the shower, she screams and cowers in fear. She rams Utah from behind into the wall and he drops his gun. She punches in the face. She grabs his hair in both hands and drives his head into a mirror. Then she knees him in the balls. She drives her elbow into the back of his neck as he falls to the floor. She kicks him in the face with her foot. Leaving Utah slumped, she appears behind another FBI agent and drives a pair of scissors into his back. She pulls them out, goes for another stab, when Pappas spins her around and slams her face-first into the wall, knocking her out.
Sacrilege! I am OUTRAGED at the strip mining of this action classic! No one can capture the magic of Keanu\’s adrenaline Zen performance. It\’s about being spiritual and propulsive in equal measure. I\’m sure they\’ll hire some meathead like Channing Tatum, some plodding testosterone guy, without understanding the spiritual component that elevated the film beyond run-of-the-mill genre. This is a dark, dark day in Hollywood history.
It\’s ripe for a remake.
Shia LaBeouf, Penn Badgley or Chace Crawford as FBI Agent Johnny Utah
Chad Michael Murray as Bodhi
Simon Pegg or Eddie Izzard as FBI Agent Angelo Pappas
Mischa Barton, Sophia Bush, Kat Dennings or Leighton Meester as Tyler Endicott
Alec Baldwin as FBI Director Ben Harp
Kurt Wimmer???!!! Jesus wept.
Point Break is about 1000 times better than The Hurt Locker. Near Dark and Strange Days are incredible films too, not that i\’d expect Oliver Lyttleton to be aware of this. Where do they find these writers?
Unless Tom Haverford plays both parts, I\’m so not on board.
There\’s already a remake of POINT BREAK–it\’s called THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS.
Does this mean in 20 years we\’ll be watching HOT FUZZ 2027 where two young whippersnappers ask \”Have you yelled Ahh & shot your gun into the side of a space ship that exploded in 3D?\”
Uh Point Break is her masterpiece and more poignant than the tripe that was The Hurt Locker.
And superhero movies are a lot different, since comics have different takes on things all the time. Movies reflecting that isn\’t something to be upset about.