Tuesday, November 5, 2024

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Even the Vatican Hates Ron Howard’s Middle-Of-The-Road Cinema

When Dan Brown’s widely popular (and incredibly sub-par) “The Da Vinci Code” was released the Catholic Church was forced to sit idle as Brown took a big impious shit on them. Now they finally have their revenge as Ron Howard gears up to begin production on the Browns prequel “Angels And Demons.”

Howard actually had the nerve to ask the Vatican’s permission to shoot scenes within the Vatican and surrounding churches in Rome, to which he received a polite, “no fucking way.” Father Marco Fibbi, a spokesman for the Diocese of Rome, said “Normally we read the script but this time it was not necessary. The name Dan Brown was enough.” Gee, it would really be nice it Hollywood producers would adopt that train of thought.

The story of “Angels and Demons” takes place almost entirely within the Vatican and the surrounding churches, so the denial will be a slight pain in the ass to Howard. But hey, Hollywood has plenty of pre-renaissance architecture, viewers will never know the difference between Burbank and Rome.

The Vatican is asking the faithful to boycott this upcoming film, and we would like to ask anyone who believes in decent cinema to do the same. Sorry Ron, it looks like even baby Jesus hates you.
– Spencer Martin

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