2013: The Year In Quotes

2013, we’re not quite done with you yet. To close off our coverage of the year gone by, we wanted to hand over the mic to the actors, directors and other film professionals who made waves, headlines, faux pas, announcements, pronouncements or funny gags throughout the year. And we’re changing up the format this time out, scouring the whole Internet and not just our own archives for these little nuggets, mainly because we’re fairly sure you’ve all avidly consumed and committed to memory every word of each of the 200-odd interviews we ran in 2013, not to mention the thousands of news stories, and we’d be preaching to the choir.

And so we bring you this snapshot of the year just gone in an eclectic assortment of tweets, awards speech soundbites, print interviews, talk show snippets, press conference bombshells and various other samples of film industry chatterati gasbagging and gossiping their way through 2013. And since of all of them, none was more ubiquitous and more valuable as a source of an adorkable one-liner or twenty than Jennifer Lawrence, we’re giving her an honorary entry to close off each month, after opening the segment with a quote from one of that month’s releases.

So come with us as we finally wave adieu/flip the bird to 2013 at the movies, in the words of the people who made it what it was.

January

“It’s like they say, ‘All good things must one day be burnt to the ground for the insurance money.’” 
Mickey Cohen (Sean Penn) in our 14th Worst Film of 2013, “Gangster Squad.”

“If you want to talk about an immoral movie, those are the movies that are just blindly reinforcing these cliches of love at first site, first kiss … get married and ride off together into the sunset. It’s systematically ruining people’s lives.”
Joseph Gordon-Levitt defends his porn-centric directorial debut “Don Jon” from accusations of immorality at Sundance.

“We don’t have to save her. We just have to get her through three weeks in July.”
Paul Schrader, having a hell of a time finishing a movie because of his difficult star, quoted in an extremely entertaining NYT article about Lindsay Lohan and filming of “The Canyons.”

“Meeting Oprah Winfrey, I cried like a baby. Meeting Steven Spielberg, I cried like a baby. Meeting Denzel Washington, I gushed like a crazy woman.”
Octavia Spencer gets starstruck at Sundance.

“And that SCENE … where she’s, like, you… you… get OUTTA HERE!”
Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell, who had totally seen all the films, presenting the Globe for Best Actress in what is definitely the funniest clip from any awards show all year. Seriously, we just LOL-ed at it all over again.

“To be a part of the next chapter of the ‘Star Wars’ saga, to collaborate with Kathy Kennedy and this remarkable group of people, is an absolute honor. I may be even more grateful to George Lucas now than I was as a kid.”
J.J. Abrams in the Lucasfilm statement announcing him as the director of “Star Wars: Episode 7,” contrary to what he’d implied just a few months before.

“Ugh – NEVER going to a Ryan Gosling movie in a theater again. Apparently masturbating in the back row is still considered ‘inappropriate’ ”
Anna Kendrick, delighting us with her hitherto unsuspected lewdness on Twitter.

“You gave a stunning performance in ‘Les Miserables.’ I have not seen someone so alone and abandoned like that since you were onstage with James Franco at the Oscars.”
Tina Fey shouts out Anne Hathaway while hosting the Golden Globes, the only place where “the beautiful people of film rub shoulders with the rat-faced people of television,” according to co-host Amy Poehler.

“[Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie] were two feet from my table!… They should be King and Queen of America. I would pay taxes to them and not even think twice.”
Jennifer Lawrence reveals a Royalist streak after an exciting evening at the Golden Globes.

February

“You had me at ‘fuck you.’ “
Jimmy Bobo (Sylvester Stallone) in Walter Hill’s throwback actioner “Bullet to the Head.”

“This Oscar season is rife with contenders who bank on the authenticity of their films until it’s challenged, and then fall back on the ‘Hey, it’s just a movie’ defense.”
Maureen Dowd in the New York Times questioning the fabrication of real-life events in Oscar contenders “Zero Dark Thirty,” “Lincoln” and “Argo”

“I cordially invite Mr. Rex Reed to go fuck himself.”
Director Paul Feig, responding to Reed’s incredibly snide swipes at star Melissa McCarthy’s weight in his New York Observer “Identity Thief” review/pan. Despite poisonous notices, ours included, the film went on to be a huge hit, taking $134m.

“The story was so top secret that the director of the film is unknown to the Academy.”
Oscar host Seth MacFarlane’s refreshingly non-boob-related swipe at the snubbing of Ben Affleck for a Best Director nod.

“I had actually been committed to play Margaret Thatcher, and Meryl was Steven’s first choice for Lincoln.”
Best Actor winner Daniel Day-Lewis, accepting the Oscar from presenter Meryl Streep.

“You look like an old girlfriend of mine.”
Jack Nicholson to Jennifer Lawrence backstage at the Oscars.

“Oh, really? Do I look like a new girlfriend?”
Jennifer Lawrence to Jack Nicholson in reply.

March

“If you ride like lightning, you’re going to crash like thunder.” 
Robin (Ben Mendelsohn) in Derek Cianfrance’s “The Place Beyond the Pines.”

“Elderly. She’s in an intergalactic old folks’ home.”
Carrie Fisher imagines what Princess Leia is like today.

“[We] had tension, as men. Not as artists — as men.”
Shia LaBoeuf on Letterman on the friction with co-star Alec Baldwin that led to him quitting Stage show “Orphans” to be replaced by Ben Foster.

“the theater belongs not to the great but to the brash. acting is not for gentlemen, or bureaucratic-academics. what they do is antiart. actors used to be buried with a stake through the heart. those peoples performances so troubled on-lookers that they feared their ghosts.”
LaBeouf again, talking acting on Twitter and sounding, well, LaBeouffoonish.

“Who here actually thinks I would do ‘50 Shades of Grey‘ as a movie? Like really. For real. In real life.”
“ ? ”
“Good, well that’s that sorted then.”
“ : ) ”
Emma Watson debunks casting rumors in an elegant series of tweets.

“Oprah and I had such chemistry. To be able to make out with Oprah and to have love scenes with her and those tig ol’ bitties… I mean she’s very, very, very beautiful. She’s such a lovely, voluptuous woman… I mean that was wonderful. That was wonderful.”
Terrence Toward laxes wyrical about “Lee Daniels’ The Butler” co-star Oprah Winfrey’s assets. Other people got a lot more bothered about it than Oprah.

“When you put me on a red carpet or on a stage, I turn into chihuahua Jennifer… I have no control over what comes out of my mouth.”
Jennifer Lawrence in interview with the U.K’s Fabulous magazine.

April

“I’m not goin’ anywhere! I’m right here!”
Jackie Robinson (Chadwick Boseman) in Brian Helgeland’s baseball biopic “42,” with “right here” presumably referring to the no. 1 box office spot for April which the film surprisingly claimed over Tom Cruise’s “Oblivion.” And this topsy-turvy year means it finished 2013 above other would-be big-name blockbusters “The Lone Ranger,” “After Earth” and “Elysium” too.

“Why must a film explain everything? Why must every motivation be spelled out? … There will be many who find ‘To the Wonder‘ elusive and too effervescent. They’ll be dissatisfied by a film that would rather evoke than supply. I understand that, and I think Terrence Malick does, too. But here he has attempted to reach more deeply than that: to reach beneath the surface, and find the soul in need.”
The concluding phrases of the deeply missed Roger Ebert’s last filed film review, for Terrence Malick’s “To the Wonder.

“Look, even if I don’t get one directly, eventually they’re just going to have to give me one when I get old. So no matter how you slice it, I’m getting one.”
Robert Downey Jr. to GQ, immodestly but probably accurately predicting his Oscar future.

“Could a father not marry his son?”
Jeremy Irons visits a previously unexplored bizarre backwater of the gay marriage debate while talking to the Huffington Post.

“We are humbled to be standing here. No, we’re not humbled. We won. What’s the opposite of ‘humbled’? We’re ‘Biebered’ to be standing here.”
Witty quip machine Joss Whedon delivers in his acceptance speech for Best Movie at the MTV Movie Awards for “The Avengers.”

“We’ll make a new ‘Star Wars’ every year.”
Disney Chief Alan Horn confirming every Indiewire blogger’s worst fear: that casting rumors, plot teases, set pictures, promos and PR tie-ins for the Star Wars universe are never, ever, ever going to stop.

“You’re about to find out who I am. You’re going to be on national news.”
Speaking to the arresting officer, Reese Witherspoon subverts her nice-as-pie image when she and her husband are pulled over for DUI.

“Cinema, as I define it and as something that inspired me, is under assault by the studios and, from what I can tell, with the full support of the audience.”
Steven Soderbergh relating his reasons for retirement.

“I’ve never actually showed my body that much, even though I’m a French actress. It was a big deal for me to do it. This movie isn’t fantasy. This is a film for people who can handle a pair of tits.”
Julie Delpy talks to GQ about going topless in “Before Midnight.”

“Sorry to everyone I shook hands with, I’m sick so you’re screwed. [Trips from a standing position, covers face in shame] Oh my God! I’m like all three of the Stooges right now–I’m on Sudafed. [long pause] I don’t know how to recover… I’m afraid to look at all of you.”
A tottery J-Law accepts her award from the Los Angeles Film Critics Association.

May

“This secret world that exists right there in public, unnoticed, that no one else knows about. It’s sort of like how they say that other dimensions exist all around us, but we don’t have the ability to perceive them. That’s…that’s what I want out of a relationship. Or just life, I guess.”
Frances (Greta Gerwig) in Noah Baumbach’s “Frances Ha.”

“I’ve taken great glee in showing pictures that I have on my iPhone of Dr. Startz to people. People, honestly, fall over… He reminded me of a certain genus and species of guy that you would see at Laker games during the Magic Johnson era. He looks almost like a transgendered Bee Gee.”
Rob Lowe telling EW about his “Behind the Candelabra” transformation.

“Cary Grant and Burt Reynolds.”
Noted feminist Jerry Lewis in Cannes, when asked who his favorite female comedians are, before clarifying further “I don’t have any.”

“My suggestion for host is Joaquin Phoenix”
Seth MacFarlane tweeting about not hosting the 2014 Oscars.

“I do not feel any less of a woman. I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity.”
Angelina Jolie writes of her decision to undergo a double mastectomy in the New York Times.

“If the casting had been even 3% wrong, it wouldn’t have worked in the same way. All of us felt we needed to invite all three artists to the stage together.”
Cannes jury president Steven Spielberg explaining the unprecedented decision to award three Palme d’Ors (Palmes d’Or?) to the director and leads of “Blue is the Warmest Color”

“It appears to me that this was what was missing on the set: lesbians”
Julie Maroh, author of the “Blue is the Warmest Color” graphic novel on her blog.

“It’s less scary to me than if he wanted to be a dentist in that I couldn’t help with what he’d chosen. I have relationships with some of the biggest filmmakers and actors and producers on Earth. So I can be a huge help.”
Will Smith talking to New York Magazine about his son Jaden’s bid for acting stardom, prior to their appearance together in flop “After Earth.”

We’ll give it a break with the emblematic Jennifer Lawrence quotes for this month and instead, here’s a link to a gif of her photobombing Sarah Jessica Parker at the Met Ball.

June

“Uh-uh, this is not happening right now. We’ve had this conversation. My boss does not like squirrels. It’s a bird feeder. Can you at least look at me when I’m talking to you?”
John Cale (Channing Tatum) to the squirrel (uncredited) in “White House Down.”

“I did Kickass a month b4 Sandy Hook and now in all good conscience I cannot support that level of violence. My apologies to e” “I meant to say my apologies to others involve with the film. I am not ashamed of it but recent events have caused a change in my heart.”
Jim Carrey distances himself from “Kick-Ass 2” via Twitter.

“I would read that Brad Pitt and I had no communication, and we would look at each other and say, where could this come from? Is somebody just making up these stories?… Sure, we felt like the media wanted the project to fail, but we knew what we had, and we felt it would work. Then came the first preview, and the movie played like gangbusters.”
Marc Forster talks about the “exaggerated” stories of “World War Z” ’s troubled production to Deadline.

“My heart goes out to his family. As those of us in his pretend one hold on to the memories of our intense and beautiful time together. The love between Tony and Carmela was one of the greatest I’ve ever known.”
Edie Falco reacting to news of James Gandolfini’s death, referencing his most famous famous role.

“Without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV which actually comes about from cunnilingus.”
Actually, Michael Douglas, that’s pretty specific. From an interview with the Telegraph.

Jennifer Lawrence seemingly didn’t utter a word or fall over anything all month. Adorable!

July

“Today we are cancelling the Apocalypse!”
The awesomely named Stacker Pentecost (Idris Elba) in “Pacific Rim.”

“I think everyone will be satisfied with the ending where we hug it out and all is forgiven.”
Bryan Cranston teases the “Breaking Bad” finale.

“When you add up the amount of dialogue that you say per year and you realise that you’ve said written words more than you’ve had a chance to say your own words, you start thinking about that as an insane option for a human being.”
Johnny Depp suggesting retirement may not be far off on the BBC Breakfast show.

“I had a strong feeling in my childhood that we had fought a truly stupid war …It goes without saying that I am opposed to revising the Constitution [to enable a return to militarism] That is something that should never be done.”
Hayao Miyazaki clarifies his anti-war position to Neppu, Studio Ghibli’s regular newsletter, in the face of allegations that his swan song “The Wind Rises” lionizes Japanese militarism, and is subsequently labelled a “traitor” by Japanese nationalists. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. The pamphlet is available for download here, if your Japanese is any good.

“I just want to say how lovely it is to be back here in California, I feel safe here now that you’ve got rid of Proposition 8. I’m looking for a husband, it’s great to meet you, Michael.”
Sir Ian McKellan, sharing the Comic-Con stage with his fellow ‘X-Men’ actors including Michael Fassbender (who blows him a kiss in reply).

“I am in the South of France, so I can’t be there this evening. I only wish I was in New York and couldn’t be there.”
The text message Woody Allen sent to his rep excusing his absence from the “Blue Jasmine” New York premiere party.

“Boycotting a movie made by 99% lgbt equality folks in an lgbt equality industry is a waste of our collective energy. Making one phone call to a relative in the south who isn’t quite there yet would be 1000 times more effective.”
“Milk” screenwriter Dustin Lance Black comments on the “Enders Game“ controversy in which a boycott was called by LGBT groups due to author Orson Scott Card‘s anti-gay marriage stance.

“I want you to remember, Clark. In all the years to come, in all your most private moments, I want you to remember my hand at your throat. I want you to remember the one man who beat you.”
Actor Harry Lennix at Comic-Con, at Zack Snyder’s behest, causing the audience to lose their shit at the reference prior to the reveal of the dual logos which confirmed that yes, the “Batman vs. Superman” movie will soon be an actual thing in the real-life world.

“This is unjust…I was asked by two execs at Warner Brothers, which I’m happy testify to, that if I gave them back the rights to ‘The Hobbit‘ they would drop the claim. For a 1916 short? This was used as a bullying tactic.”
Harvey Weinstein on WB suing him over use of the title “The Butler” which resulted in TWC changing the film’s name to “Lee Daniels’ The Butler.” Film went on to make $116.3m.

“What was your favorite movie that you’ve ever done? Who was your favorite character? Does it rhyme with ‘The Shmude?’ “
Jennifer Lawrence grabs a microphone from a nearby reporter and conducts an impromptu interview with fellow Comic-Con attendee, Jeff Bridges.

August

“Everything you are, everything you have, is because of that butler.”
Gloria Gaines (Oprah Winfrey) in “Lee Daniels’ The Butler“

“Mission: Accepted”
Christopher McQuarrie‘s terse way of letting the twitterati know he would indeed be directing “Mission: Impossible 5.”

“It will be terrific. I know there are a lot of people grousing on the internet. I just think it’s kind of funny. You know, he’s not playing King Lear. It’s Batman!… certainly within his skill set. If anybody saw ‘Argo‘ or ‘The Town,’ and all the work he’s been doing lately, it’s way more nuanced and interesting and way more difficult than Batman! Batman just sits there with his cowl over his head and whispers in a kinda gruff voice at people. Bruce Wayne is the more challenging part of the role, and Ben will be great at that.”
Matt Damon heretically poohpoohing geek outrage over the casting of Ben Affleck as Batman in “Batman vs Superman.”

“WILLIS OUT … HARRISON FORD IN !!!! GREAT NEWS !!!!! Been waiting years for this!!!!”
“GREEDY AND LAZY …… A SURE FORMULA FOR CAREER FAILURE.”
Caps-happy Sylvester Stallone vents on Twitter about Bruce Willis after he dropped out of “The Expendables 3.”

“But people still went to movies in those days. People went to movie theaters. It was a community experience, and that was part of the fun. Now people see a movie on their iPad, alone, with interruptions for snacks.”
Harrison Ford lamenting the old days in the New York Times.

“TWC people have told Bong [Joon-ho] that their aim is to make sure the film ‘will be understood by audiences in Iowa … and Oklahoma. Leaving aside the issue of what Weinstein thinks of its audience, it seems to say… that the rest of the English-speaking world has to be dragged down to the presumed level of American Midwest hicks.”
U.K. film critic and Programmer Tony Rayns, managing to come across as more condescending even than Harvey Scissorhands in the ongoing “Snowpiercer” U.S. cut debate.

“I’m just really starting to feel like a monkey in a zoo.”
Jennifer Lawrence in an uncharacteristically downbeat moment.

September

“I’m tired of being funny.”
Eva (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) in Nicole Holofcener‘s “Enough Said.”

“You really deserve half of this. Do you want the bottom or the top?”
Michael Douglas, winner of the Emmy for Best Actor in a mini-series or movie for the Liberace biopic “Behind the Candelabra“, to co-star Matt Damon, who played his lover.

“So it’s a real mixed message at the end. Walt has failed on so many levels, but he has managed to do the one thing he set out to do, which is a victory. He has managed to make his family financially sound in his absence, and that was really the only thing he set out to do in that first episode. So, mission accomplished”
Vince Gilligan talks about the “Breaking Bad” finale.

“This is all news to me. I think that maybe my name is bandied about because I’m known to be bald. ‘What bald guy can we get?’ “
Bryan Cranston toys coyly with reports that he’s in the casting mix for Lex Luthor in up to six upcoming ‘Superman‘ films.

“I just looked at Alexander [Payne] and I said, ‘I can’t fail this guy.'”
Bruce Dern in conversation at Telluride about his role in Payne’s “Nebraska.”

“Most people don’t even dare to ask the things that he did.”
“Thank god we won the Palme d’Or, because it was so horrible.”
Adèle Exarchopolous and Léa Seydoux, respectively, at Telluride when they agreed that they’d not work for their “Blue is the Warmest Color” director Abdellatif Kechiche again, thereby sparking a war of words…

“The film shouldn’t be released, it has been soiled too much. The Palme d’Or had been a brief moment of happiness; then I’ve felt humiliated, dishonored, I felt rejected, I live it like I’m cursed.”
Toys-out-of-pram moment from Kechiche who goes on, in the best tradition of a hissy-fit fight, to say he suggested Léa Seydoux leave the production early on.

“The traffic is too heavy. You’re fired.”
Notorious megalomaniac Jennifer Lawrence sacks her driver during her apparently sozzled Vogue interview.

October

“I hate space.”
Dr. Ryan Stone (Sandra Bullock) in Alfonso Cuarón‘s “Gravity.”

“It was a remark that was blurted out at that moment, but it’s not what I really think…I was just afraid that was what was going on around the film would prevent people from seeing it for what it really was.”
Kechiche wheels back a little, seems more conciliatory.

“After having been celebrated and glorified thanks to the Palme d’Or… [Seydoux] started to drag me through the mud with lies and exaggerations…It is for her to explain in court.”
Or maybe not. Kechiche again, now carrying on what seems like a very public, and totally counter-productive argument with himself.

“Your film is amazing. Now, for the love of God, shut up about it”
Everyone, everywhere, under their breath, to Abdellatif Kechiche.

“He’s like Mickey Rourke when he was Mickey Rourke or Gary Oldman when he was Gary Oldman. Michael Fassbender is that person now. People want to be an actor because of him. People want to be in a movie because of him. People want to make a movie because he could be in it…people want to jam with him. He’s like Ginger Baker.”
“12 Years A Slave” director Steve McQueen on Michael Fassbender.

“I was so extravagantly impressed by the portrayal of the reality of zero gravity.”
Buzz Aldrin, the second man on the moon, reviewing “Gravity.“

“For a guy who wrote a movie with no dialogue you sure talk a lot,”
JC Chandor remembers Robert Redford‘s response as he nervously tried to talk the actor into doing his 31-page screenplay, “All is Lost.”

“Listen, we’re all *possibly* Frank Sinatra‘s son.”
Everybody in the world falls instantly in love with class act Ronan Farrow for his awesomely funny tweet in response to his mother Mia’s Vanity Fair revelation that Woody Allen may not be Farrow’s biological father.

“Rickets. I became obsessed with rickets, but they didn’t really have a place in the film. I kept trying to get it in. That was the only thing I wanted, but it just wouldn’t work. That was all the research I did.”
Joaquin Phoenix talks about his preparation process for James Gray‘s “The Immigrant.”

“Like, if there’s a spider. I try to kill it and I miss it. Great. Now it knows what I look like.”
Jennifer Lawrence on her irrational fears.

November

“The cold never bothered me anyway.”
Elsa (Idina Menzel) in Disney‘s “Frozen,” as of now the fourth-highest-grossing film of 2013.

“But reading [the Hans Zimmer article] and seeing someone on the inside, who knows exactly how everything happened, outright lying, that bothered me. I just feel the truth on the whole process should be explained once and for all.”
Composer Mike Zarin sets the record straight on who collaborated to create the “Inception” BRAAAM.

“There’s nothing in the movie that I would go back on,”
Oliver Stone talks “JFK” on the 50th anniversary of President Kennedy’s assassination.

“I Never Heard Of This Guy Juan Luis Garcia,If He Has A Beef It’s Not With Me.I Did Not Hire Him,Do Not Know Him.Cheap Trick Writing To Me.YO”
Spike Lee tweets Jaden Smith-style in response to allegations that the “Oldboy“ poster was ripped off from a designer who got no credit.

“[Ramsay] was repeatedly under the influence of alcohol, was abusive to members of the cast and crew and was generally disruptive…[she also] failed to adhere to proper safety protocol for handling weapons on set, when she pointed a prop gun directly at a camera and, in turn, at the camera crew before first taking proper precautions.”
From the suit allegedly filed against director Lynne Ramsay following her acrimonious exit from “Jane Got A Gun.”

“It keeps inching forward and we keep getting closer and closer and things fall apart again. It’s just a very, very difficult situation. I think it will get done some time but not in the near future.”
Peter Bogdanovich talks about his ongoing project, the completion of Orson Welles‘ unfinished “The Other Side of the Wind“

“Lynne Ramsay has not been served with this lawsuit and, when she is, she will respond in court and not in the media. That said, the allegations as recently reported are simply false.”
The response from Ramsay‘s camp.

“I was surprised at how little camel toe problem there was. I was expecting a lot more.”
Lawrence is pleasantly surprised by her wetsuit in “The Hunger Games: Catching Fire.”

December

“Alright, get the fuck off my boat. Good luck on that subway ride home to your miserable, ugly wives.”
Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) in “The Wolf of Wall Street.”

“Yes, I have the desire to make many films, but as of now I’m 71 and there’s only a couple more left if I get to make them. I miss the time when I had the desire to experiment and try different kinds of films, I miss that time, but that’s done, it’s over.”
Martin Scorsese suggesting he might be slowing down and mellowing, before “The Wolf of Wall Street” kinda put the lie on that.

“When I heard, I immediately flew back to California, and went directly from the plane to his mother’s house… I thought they needed my strength, but realized when I got there and broke down before his family, that it was I who needed theirs. His mother hugged me and said I am so sorry… I said sorry? You’re the mother who lost a son?… She said yes, but you lost your other half…”
Just one of many extremely affecting tributes paid to Paul Walker, by all accounts one of the nicest men in Hollywood, by his “brother” and “Fast & Furious” co-star, Vin Diesel, following Walker’s Nov. 30th death in a car accident.

“A lot of these shows (which I’ve not seen) seem to be about a bad guy that’s taking out really bad people, it’s the justice of mankind. With Hannibal that’s not the case, he’s taking out really, really nice people”
Mads Mikkelsen talks about what attracted him to “Hannibal.”

“R.I.P. Nelson Mandela, subject of Weinstein Co’s Idris Elba-starrer ‘Mandela: Long Walk To Freedom’ which opened Nov 29 and has awards buzz.
Nikke Finke’s outstandingly tone-deaf tweet following Nelson Mandela‘s passing, which spawned both this great AV Club post and its own #finkeobits meme.

“Wonder Woman is Amazonian, and historically accurate Amazonian women actually had only one breast. So, if I’d really go ‘by the book’…it’d be problematic.”
Gal Gadot on an Israeli talk show deflects a question that should not ever have been asked, which essentially amounted to “are you gonna get a boob job to play Wonder Woman?” The mind boggles, the jaw drops, the eyes roll.

“I was shocked, to say the least, when I saw that he took the script and even many of the visuals from a very personal story I did six or seven years ago and passed it off as his own work. I actually can’t imagine what was going through his mind.”
Comic book author Daniel Clowes responding to Shia LaBeouf‘s short film which is allegedly a direct rip off of his work. LaBeouf later sorta-apologised, and later still published the cease-and-desist letter on his twitter which we can only interpret as un-apologizing. Honestly, Mr Clowes, we don’t think anyone can imagine what’s going through LaBeouf’s mind, nor should we try.

“Dying Is MainStream #MONEY”
Jaden Smith is punking us all via twitter.

“I can’t stand light. I hate weather. My idea of heaven is moving from one smoke-filled room to another.”
Peter O’Toole, currently raising hell in the smoking section of heaven.

And in lieu of a J-Law quote we’ll close out the year the best way we know how, with an endlessly repeating clip of the Oscar-winner spilling some breath mints at a press conference, that did the rounds on two separate occasions. The web memes in mysterious ways.

So with that, a fare thee well to 2013. Any particular pearls of wisdom/idiocy we missed? Add them below.